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Today i heard my biological "father" died....


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I read this post probably 5 or 6 times. Debated on responding because I don't really know you like that, but you kinda struck a chord.

I can't relate like some of these other guys can, I just read your post and it reminded me of losing certain people in my life. For me it wasn't instant, especially when the circumstances weren't great. For some people in my life it was just good to have some type of closure. Hopefully if nothing else that is what this is for you.

Hope you figure this one out and you come out better for it.

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I feel for you Steve and understand what your going thru to a certain degree. I am proud that you are man enough to post such personal experiences on here and to have feed back from members to help understand and deal with it.

When i was 5 yrs old my dad left, i didnt not know him and only have a couple memory's of him. He worked in the oil industry and traveled the world searching for oil reserves. My siblings always seem to have taken him leaving good. I say that because they grew up well and have good lives.

Thank god my mom met and remarried a man that was the only father i have ever know. A wonderful man that has supported me thru all my troubles in life. Being sober the last 6 years and in my mid 40's i to forgave my sperm donor years ago, over the phone also. I did it for closure in my life and that horrible chapter of self destructiveness for a multitude of reasons. Ok so maybe i had daddy issue's, maybe daddy didn't care because daddy wasn't there.....lol Austin Powers moment!

I have no relationship with him, not sure how i would know if anything where to happen to him. I feel pity that a man could walk away from 4 kids and there mother and never pay a dime, or more importantly have a relationship with them. A sad human being IMO.

Thank god there are good men out there like my dad who took 4 of us in as his own and had another son with my mom.

So i think its ok to not feel sad Steve. comes a time in your life when you just move on. You understand, but move on.

Thank you for sharing.

Edited by bcbrassard
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Steve,we are only human's and have emotion's like good,bad,sad,happy,and so on. Yes, us being guy's,we tend to be more"macho",and act tougher than who we really are. There's no perfect father or mother,but if it was not for them,none of us would be here. I'm really sorry for what your father put you through,but somehow,and someway you made it in life,and now you have your own children,and that's what you focus on. You must forgive him and do not hold that inside of you,cause it will hurt you in the long run. Believe me,I have thing's I myself need to let go of,and If you ever need someone to talk to,please feel free to hit me up. Stay strong my brother and remember that life goes on.

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Steve, long time follower... I know the feeling of loosing a PARENT that was never there... My mom was the same way. I was raised by my pops mainly but never had a mother in my life. I felt the same way when she passed. Always wondered what if she would of been around, would things still be the way they are? Anyways, its sad news but you live and learn.

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I refuse to let my dad get any emotion out of me. Anger, sadness whatever. The bastard isn't worth it. I don't hate him, love him I have nothing whatsoever for him. I use to want to beat the shit out of him but that was keeping him top of my mind. The only thing that fucks me up is when my kids want to meet their grandfather on my side of the family.

Edited by Ahmed Johnson
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I was in the exact same boat in February. My dad had shot himself, the last time I seen him maybe 2 days prior I had waved at him and he looked me in the eye and didn't acknowledge me at all. It has been that way my entire life.

I can honestly say I didn't care one bit that he died. I have all kinds of people that tell me I need to talk to someone about it, but honestly I could give a shit less...I don't concider him a father not even the slightest.

So I for sure understand what you're going through Steve, its a weird feeling no doubt.

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It's a strange feeling losing someone who is a biological relative but you didn't really know them.

My sister (who my parents gave up for adoption 2 years before i was born) passed away last year from diabetes complications. We had met twice in the past 10 years or so.

Edited by Markous

'07 Ford Ranger - DM-608 I E700.4 I SA-CX6.5 v2 I SAZ-1500D 15th (x2) I Zv6 12" D1 I SB500-34 I JP40 I

On 5/21/2015 at 7:07 PM, boom50cal said:

of course he gives no fucks. it's a ford ranger.

only bad mother fuckers drive ford rangers

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Any two people (m&f) can have a biological child. Okay great. But it takes someone special to raise and care for a child, and that is what makes them parents, not that they brought a kid into the world. I found out not long ago that my dad is actually my step dad. My blood dad wasn't good to my mom and she left him to raise me and go to college at the same time. He showed up twice when i was maybe 3 or 4 and took me to the park and that was it. I never knew until recently who that was, lol. I don't know his name or where he is and honestly I don't care. I don't consider him my dad and never will. My step dad and mom met when I was 2 or 3. He's the greatest dad I could ever ask for and does so much for me.

Edited by ethan_leonardo
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