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Everything posted by ZombieswithMustaches
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"Chuck Norris is so bad, he takes a baseball bat into the bathroom with him incase he craps out a wildcat and has to beat it to death"
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I don't care what anyone says, Matthew McConaughey has never looked more badass than he does in Reign of Fire. I love this movie!
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Tooo early!!! Playing in a golf tourney today and tomorrow! Looks like it's gonna be a very wet round of golf!
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Hailey shouldn't have went home. Should've been Scotty!! That dude must have some sort of magical testicles that keep him from being sent home! Good to know, if he ever makes a pass at me! Gotta find my anti-magical testicles potion! Damn!! where is it?! Oh crap! Here he comes!!
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SOTD: Tab Benoit - Darkness from the Sea Saint Sessions. If you like gut-wrenching blues or wanna drink to some really good music, this is your song. Feels like you're in some run down dive bar listening to a guy pour his heart out through his guitar. You're welcome!
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After a long day of work yesterday, I, being the wonderful and loving husband, told my amazing and unnaturally, beautiful wife that I would mow the yard before eating her astounding homemade enchiladas! Later she gave me an amazing foot massage before she fell asleep and started snoring! I love you, sizzle tits! I don't deserve you and I'm not sure how I'll ever pay God back for giving you to me!