I didnt see a funnies section so im posting this here. You have all probably seen them but, there were a few I hadnt so I thought I would share
Q: How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
A: Give her a shovel.
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't
believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and
your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour, When
you open the trunk, which one is really happy
to see you?
A WOMAN'S REFLECTION ON MENOPAUSE:
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able
to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking
red dent on his forehead.
DEAR MADAM:
THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR
SEX TOYS WEBSITE.
YOU'VE REQUESTED THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS
FEATURED ON OUR WALL DISPLAY.
PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM.
THAT'S OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
FRIENDSHIP AMONG WOMEN; FRIENDSHIP AMONG MEN
Friendship between women: A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a
girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None
of them know anything about it.
Friendship between men: A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
the last on made me lmao