I Need Some Room To Vent

[white4d96]

Okay, this is getting to be one of the worst weeks of my life.

Thursday was my first rehearsal back with a strolling strings group at school after being expelled from the group last year for an infraction I did not commit. The reception I got was not at all. I was even asked why I bothered to come back, and told I should have stayed the hell away. I can just feel the eyes on me throughout rehearsal.

Friday I was supposed to take a friend to look at a car, kid never called, never left an email or anything, and I got egg on my face because I vouched for the kid and said he was seriously considering the car. On top of that, my mom ran out of money and my dad refused to let me have money for gas, claiming that I'm 'old enough to have your own damn job and pay for your own shit." Never mind that I'm a full time student and am busy 3 out of 5 days in the work week, and cannot work a steady schedule due to music and drama engagements. He went on to say that I owed him 'thousands for being under my damn roof eating my damn food' anyway. So I had to scrounge up $5 in quarters so I could get enough gas to get to an install I promised a friend I would do, and to school today.

Today I fell asleep in the shower, ended up getting to school late. Didn't have any homework done. Teachers flipped a lid on me. On to orchestra classes where my hands and wrist cramped up so bad I could hardly play, for the first time in almost 18 months. Economics class we had a test, I am sure I failed. I get home, mom's flippign out because of my homework not being in. I do some of it, get caught up-ish, and go to do some work on my car, and get two arms full of fiberglass splinters working with the headliner, and manage to cross thread every screw for the visors. Give up, go back inside, dad's throwing a fit because I'm 'ripping my damn car apart.' Go online to talk to people, and the first person I talk to tells me to 'don't talk to me, kay? thanks.' and blocks me and deletes me from their friendslist. someone who I have been friends with for years, and they won't even tell me why.

I feel like utter shit. My head hurts, my stomach hurts. For the first time in over a year I feel like I could cry. That makes me feel even shittier, cuz only pussies and women cry, according to everyone in my family.

Maybe I should just accept that I'm weak and a failure. Maybe that will be easier. I just want to give up right now.

Thanks guys for listening (if you do; if not, I understand). I feel like you guys are some of the only people I can actually trust nowadays...

[thehoe92]

totally understand bro.

you will probably get this a lot from anyone trying to cheer you up but get a long nights sleep because tomorrow is a new day.

ipod taught me a good lesson that I never really listened to anyone before and thats fuck the haters... for real.

make up your own mind and live your own life.

[enemyofsilence]

sorry to hear about that man. We all have our bad times. you just have to tough it out and get through it. Its pretty cliche to say this, but its always darker just before the dawn. Stick in there. Dawn will come soon

[KVally]

I hear you man... I think every real human being that doesn't live in fantasy land has times like these. Where it seems like everything and everyone around you is just there to get in your way and put you down, even if its the smallest of things. Thats when you gotta find the things in life that get you through times like these. Whatever that may be. I've learned to count my blessings and think about the things I have and not the things I don't, which we all now is hard as hell, as we all know we all seem to like nice shit around here, myself included. And I'm by no means a bible thumper but I've been working on just having faith. Not really in a god or a religious sense. Just faith in myself, the people around me, in life... Being optimistic can be hard as shit when you feel helpless, but curling up in a ball isn't gonna do us any good either. Just gotta roll with the punches... Hoped this helped a lil bro. But i feel ya

[Kasey]

sorry to hear that you had such a bad day. And like "enemyofsilence" seed "its always darkest just before the dawn"

[bossgator]

sorry to hear that but like they said its darkest before dawn.

"only pussies and women cry, according to everyone in my family."

thats bullshit. like young buck said

"If a real niggaz cry then its real pain

So on the real my nigga I don't feel ashamed"

[jmitch]

dude dont be down what what dont kill ya makes ya stronger just take all the negative things and turn it into fuel to help u surpass all that. the way i look at things is if im in need and no one want to help me when they have the means and supposed to help me through the bad whether is mental physical emotional i say fuck em cuz all thats doing is tearing ya down so i just do what i gotta do to make it and when they see u makin it they on ya own they gonna be back in ya face like nothin happen just forgive and forget that shit mang and ya dad is just being an asshole to ya cuz sumthing is bothering him he cant work through so take what he say and forget it cuz remember when he really need u and u help him hes gonna remember how he treated u and hes gonna feel bad about it. just dont give up cuz if u do whos gonna do what u need to do?