Sorry I Have To Vent Before I Explode Go To 2nd Page

[reinke]

i made a post a few weeks ago about my disease. my therapist said i should vent about all the stuff that is bothering me. I AM FUCKING DIEING. my spine is growing together it is causing my diaphram to get smooshed along with my lungs and colon. so i cant breathe too well i already have asthma and smoke 2 packs a day. i poop ALOT. but, what really bothers me is that i cant pick up my son alot. i can sometimes but not all the time. does anyone know how hard it is to listen to your 2 year old scream and cry because his daddy cant pick him up. if he was older he would understand but he doesnt. i cant even sleep with my chick all the time. i can bend to help jake like i want too. i am either in pain and totally wasted from the damn meds i am taking. NEVER EVER TAKE ENBREL. it works but hurts like s mofo when you inject it. another thing, i have hypodermaphobia. which is a severe phobia of needls. i almost pass out when i have to inject myself. i am allergic to my damn cat and she always want to snuggle with me at night to stay warm. i need to finish build my truck, but i am waiting on a woofer and i cant even lift it up. it is too damn heavt it kills my back to move it. i cant find a comfortable way to slepp so i take 200mgs of morphine and a tylenol pm to do it. it is my wife birthday on the 25th and i dont even have fucking moeny to get her anything or buy dinner. do you know how big of a fucking loser i feel like having her pay for her own birthday dinner? i doubt it. my mother started smoking crack again. i was born a crack baby ( shut up jake) you would think she would learn from when i was born and not breathing. or from the 8 month's i spent in the nic-u from withdrawls. i have no gas in my truck. this cold weather is killing all my joints from arthritis and my disease. I AM 24 AND HAVE TO MAKE A FUCKING WILL OUT ON FRIDAY. after the first of the year i may not have medical anymore. i just ran out of hot cocoa. i know god never gives you more than oyu can handle but damn man. ease up a little would ya. i am not religious and now i know why. either way i am fucked with or without a faith. i feel ike i cant dea with all this shit. but, then i see my son and realize i can. atleast until this disease kills me. i cant even let anyone sneeze on me because my immune system is so fucked up a cold could kill me even faster. i have to be so careful i feel like bubble boy. this sucks ass. i know i am loud, irrogant, a retard whatever you want to call me. now you know why. i just dont care anymore people. fuck it. as long as i have my son fock everything else. then i found out there is a really good chance brynne is prego again. holy shit. now she wonders why i wanted to have my stuff snipped. DAMN.

for htose that took the time to read all of this thank you so much. i have alot more inside but i figure i will add tomorrow. i might have this moved to the db linc sectiona and keep a littel diary.anyways thanks to those who read all of this.

[Applejack]

keep your head up man, you got us, if you ever need to talk i always have room in the pm box

[reinke]

keep your head up man, you got us, if you ever need to talk i always have room in the pm box

i will keep that in mind. thank you.

[mbdblue]

man, just the fact that your able to do what you do with all this tryin to hold ya down impresses me. But I guess all you can do is just stay up man.....and lose the damn cat!

[reinke]

i love mu kitty though. she is the only one besides my son that likes to see me everyday. i am gonna see if my doctor will let me get that shot they have out for pet allergies

[Blackedout]

Loose the cat, cut back a little a day on the smoking if you can. Use your kid as inspiration to get it done. The $3650 a year you spend on Cigs could be going into your kids college fund, or into toys, or anything.

Are you overweight? If so, Start watching what you eat, even cutting back on sodas will do something for you in time. Do it for yourself, your kid, you wife, and possibly your future kid.

Cats and Christmas trees kill me... I have had asthma all my life. Christmas trees have tons of fungus and bacteria, every year we have a real one around December 20th, I'm in the hospital.

Oh yeah, Wood particles from cutting wood is possibly the worst thing for your lungs...Sounds like you chill at DB link quite a bit. Throw on a mask.

[DUBIE]

sorry to hear that bro!..even thoug you and me had a lil argument way back...you still a nice guy..sorry about everything..hope ya get better!...4real no joke man...if only god gave you a miracle brotha!...but try to be strong and keep ya head up...like applejack said...

[reinke]

Loose the cat, cut back a little a day on the smoking if you can. Use your kid as inspiration to get it done. The $3650 a year you spend on Cigs could be going into your kids college fund, or into toys, or anything.

Are you overweight? If so, Start watching what you eat, even cutting back on sodas will do something for you in time. Do it for yourself, your kid, you wife, and possibly your future kid.

Cats and Christmas trees kill me... I have had asthma all my life. Christmas trees have tons of fungus and bacteria, every year we have a real one around December 20th, I'm in the hospital.

Oh yeah, Wood particles from cutting wood is possibly the worst thing for your lungs...Sounds like you chill at DB link quite a bit. Throw on a mask.

yes i am over weight. i am about 220. i have cut back alot on the smokin i am trying to quite for new years. we had to get a fakemas tree. they killed me too. and yeah i am at db linc alot. almost everyday. normally i try to use my shirt as a mask. but, i am probaably gonna take you advice and buy some masks.

[Blackedout]

Sounds like you need to find another insurance company. 50% coverage is all bad. I missed the original thread.

I'm not a pot head, but we are in Cali, medical marijauna is an option and there are kinds that will make you sleep easier, possibly make you feel a little better. There are also kinds that make you active (Sativa...I think) ..... You may be against it due to your mom, but if you don't use it as a drug to get 'super baked' it may help you out.

[reinke]

i cant smoke weed anymore. i am a really outgoing person. and when i smoke weed i have a really short fuse. that and my chick said she will leave me if i start again.with the insurance my girl has that is the best that is allowed in ohio. they will only cover 50% on this medicine. everything else is 100%