That pretty mean what she's doing because she is going to the cruise with you I don't see why she still has trust issues if she will be there to watch your every move. Your situation sucks especially that you don't have family support out there. Like you say you only love her 70% of the time looks to me like she's controlling you instead of it being a relationship. I wouldn't really know what to tell you because i haven't been in a situation like this but i hope it works out for the better. Good luck with everything, maybe you could start looking for a new job and get on with your life without her...maybe this might be your life changer...