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well when i met my wife she had 2 kids. the oldes was 3 and the youngest was 1. neither one of their fathers was around. they never called, paid child support or came around period. not even there familes called or came around. my wife took care of everything by herself. well when we started dating i became attached to the kids real quick. we moved in together about 9 months after we started dating and over time the kids started to call me dad. i had no problem with that at all. i plan on being around for the long haul. well now the youngest(at the time) is 6 and the oldest is 10, we also have another who is 3 now. they all call me dad and no nothing else. the 10 year old knows i am not his biological father but doesnt question much. i have talked to my oldest about it and i think he gets it but hes still a little to young to fully understand.

My middle sons bilogical father was sent to jail the day he was born and has been in and out of jail many times since and as i said has made no attempt to be apart of his life. Well he called my wife today, got her number from my brother in law, and told her that he is going to court monday and that he is facing 60 years. he wasnt to see my son. Me and my wife both are kinda torn as what we should do. They are my kids and after 6 years of his father not being there i really dont feel like i should take him to see him. neither does my wife. but we also feel like we could be making a mistake. my wife is worried that he may try to hurt her because he hates me or that he may try to set her up and take our son. obviosly if she goes im going too, but that thought is still in her head. in no way am i hiding the fact that i am not his "real" father but at 6 i cant see the good in taking him around a stranger. what good could come of it? what might he plan on telling my son, that im not his dad. and then what....hes off to do his 60 years and not see him again, possibly forever. i strongly feel that there could be no good to come from this. we are pretty much set on not taking him but i just wanna know what you guys think. thanks for listening.

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Honestly Man, I dont have any children dont plan to for a long time but reading ur post, I wouldnt take him around that man at all even though he is the biological father, he still isnt the father of that kid, no matter what they say u have raised him it seems as ur own and he doesnt deserve it just because he is goin to jail, if hes goin to jail then he shouldnt have a little kid around him anyway because hes obviously a failure at life and doesnt deserve it but thats just my .02

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i wouldnt take him like you said nothing good would come from him spending 10 minuets with a stranger telling him you know what and then you son will never see him again but what ever he tells him might stick and that might or might not be a good thing. if its a matter of him wanting to see his son tell him youll send pictures as the years progress. i mean if this guy is facing 60 years he has nothing left to lose who knows what he might do. my 2 pennys

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I wouldnt take him. That man is not his father, you are. Blood or not, you are his father. To me a father isnt about blood. Its about the person being there every step of the way and turning you into a young man which you are doing for him.

Couldnt say it better myself.

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father isnt the man who busts his load in the mom, father is the man mature and responsible enough to take care of, provide for, and raise the child...and that appears to be you

If he were older, I would say explain the situation and let him decide, but seeing as he is only 6, i'd really think it best he just never knew what a fuck up his real father is until he was old enough to wrap his head around it, and visit him in jail if he wanted to. Those few monitored hours or minutes before he goes away could just as easily be done years down the road, not like the guy has a full social schedule.

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thanks guys. i was talking to my wife and thats what we talked bout, the fact that when he gets older and everything is explained to him he can make the decision for himself. he should be easy to find. thanks agian for the comments and support.

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d(-__-)b

beer sucks...but i can bring some jose cuervo. Only problem is that it makes me horny and gives me the rams. So unless yall wanna fight and then have some great make up sex i will leave it home.

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I wouldnt take him. That man is not his father, you are. Blood or not, you are his father. To me a father isnt about blood. Its about the person being there every step of the way and turning you into a young man which you are doing for him.

x2

father is the man mature and responsible enough to take care of, provide for, and raise the child...and that appears to be you

x2

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