woah sorry guys, kind of forgot about this topic
first off i do have the relay harness so that shouldnt be an issue its hooked up right because my HIDs do work its just on initial start up and turn on they flick on and go out.
sometimes its both, sometimes its just my right one that goes out, its just sort of annoying having to turn my lights on and off multiple times just to get them to stay on, but i will try what you guys suggested.
@dubpower, i believe i may have touched the bulbs im not sure, i've had my hids for probably 4-5 months now. i have been thinking about ordering new bulbs with a high beam though, so i'm not stuck with just low beams