JEMT8 Posted October 31, 2012 Report Posted October 31, 2012 Warning: This is sort of a relationship advice thread so if you have no interest then you might as well hit that back arrow now Anyways... here is the story. I will try to keep it short and sweet with as much pertinant info as possible. It all started on saturday. I had taken and passed my state written exam to become an EMT-B, which I worked very hard for and is a big deal for me. My girlfriend and I made plans for her to sleep over my house and hang out to celebrate and she knew this was a big deal to me too. A few hours into hanging out at my house, she whips out the good old smartphone and starts looking at facebook and finds out about a halloween party that night. Now I don't like parties because is a social anxiety thing and I don't partake in drugs or alcohol and don't even like being around it, so naturally I told her I didn't want to go. She says okay and looks kind of sad and starts texting somebody that I soon find out is her ex boyfriend (who she will fight tooth and nail saying he is just a GOOD FRIEND) who made the post about the party and was going to it. This is where the issues start coming in.... She has the nerve to ask me if she can go to the party with him. I said know right away and she got mad. She dropped it and got back on facebook and started messaging this girl to take her to the party because she wanted to go so badly but the girl never responded. She brought back up asking if she could go with her ex and asking if I would take her home and I just told her she can do what she wants but I couldnt promise I would be okay with her decision since me and her had plans first, I wont be at the party, and she is going with an ex. She made me drive her home so she could go and she was clearly pissed at me and I told her she was just mad because I was telling her what she didn't want to hear. We got all the way back to her house before she decided I was right and said she wanted t go back to my house and kept saying she was a horrible girlfriend. On monday night, the same ex boyfriend texted her again inviting her to a kegger this weekend and she said she might go since me and her dont have plans but I told her I wouldnt really feel comfortable with it and it really bothered me. Last night she texted me and said I was being controlling and wasn't letting her live her own life and she should be able to go to a party if she damn well wants to even if it's with her ex boyfriend because I should trust her and that I "guilted" her out of going to the other party even though she admitted before that I was right. Also when we first started dating, she knew that I didnt party or drink or do drugs and all she said was she used to party but she is willing to respect my life choices and support them and not do it but she is trying to say that she told me she likes to party still. I Note: She dated the dude for a week but I'm sure they had a thing for longer and probably fucked. Now to the point.... Am I being a controlling boyfriend because I don't want her going to parties with her ex or amd I acting within the boundries of a normal, healthy relationship? In my opinion, I feel it is disrespectful to our relationship she would even consider doing this especially because she doesn't have to worry about me going out and doing this to her. She knows I will just be sitting at my house. Thanks for the input formerly known as Jaylor Swift
CHEVY4X4BLAZER Posted October 31, 2012 Report Posted October 31, 2012 I think you're right in feeling uncomfortable about her partying with her ex. If he was such a good friend, you would have known about him when y'all first started talking.
94jettameowpsst Posted October 31, 2012 Report Posted October 31, 2012 ^ this. I'm not criticizing you by any means so please don't take this the wrong way, but it's so weird seeing posts like this being that I've been in the same situations before too. I'm assuming you're younger as well? Everyone deals with this bs, and if she wants to give the ol' slurp n' burp nothing you say or do is going to stop her. But it seems to me she's got more interest in her ex than she does you, so if you can set your feelings aside, I'd say roll with it and do the EXACT same thing to her and watch how quick the tables turn into YOU being the asshole. 150.1 @ 38hz142.3 @ 20hz (windows down)Only 2 batteries
lifted_silverado Posted October 31, 2012 Report Posted October 31, 2012 I've been in the same situation,first off how long have you two been in a relationship? If its newish then youre gonna have to realize that its not deep enough in for her to respect your wishes. In which case you need to go ahead and cut ties. If its been a long one Id say that two different people are at different points in their lives. One is more focused and matured to avoid the whole party/drugs/drinking scene and the other is still on the "I just wanna have fun im still young" thing. Either way you need to sit her down in an un-aggressive manner and ask her whats more importnant to her and explain that before the relationship got too far in that she knew what kind of person you were an that its not gonna change. And take it from there. Just my opinion Everythings in the attic or garage since the truck was sold last year. New build should be coming soon in a dodge cummins
JEMT8 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Report Posted October 31, 2012 I can't quote each specifically because I'm on mobile and is difficult to do but all of you guys make good points. It is a newer relationship and I am concerned about losing it over something stupid like this. She said if I didn't stop being "controlling" then we wouldn't last much longer. If she wanted to party with her girlfriends that's cool by me but once and ex boyfriend comes in that's over the line for me and she doesn't understand that. I just turned 21 and she will be 19 soon so she probably wants to be young and party like lifted silverado mentioned. I thought it was different when we first started talking but now I'm the bad guy for feeling the way I do even though I'm not doing anything wrong. She says I am guilting her but if she feels guilty than she obviously knows she is doing something she shouldn't. And I know how girls get with alcohol and I just don't want to deal with even though I trust her. Mistakes do happen when under the influence. Especially when the guy says the right thing at the right time. I don't want to be unfair to her and hold her back from what she wants to do but I just don't want her being drunk around a ton of guys while I'm not there formerly known as Jaylor Swift
Skullz Posted October 31, 2012 Report Posted October 31, 2012 You have morels and values you hold on to and if she can't respect that then continuing a relationship will be tough on both of you. 01 Ford focus ZX3 Pioneer AVH-X491BHS PPI PC 4800.2 Morel Maximo 6.5" x2
JEMT8 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Report Posted October 31, 2012 You have morels and values you hold on to and if she can't respect that then continuing a relationship will be tough on both of you. You are right for sure. It has already put a strain on us and nothing has even happened yet. I'm just not sure if she is making a big deal because people like to do what they aren't supposed to and she wants what she can't have or if she seriously just wants to party with her ex. So I'm just wondering if I should cave and let her go to a party with him and see how it goes formerly known as Jaylor Swift
RCP Audio Posted October 31, 2012 Report Posted October 31, 2012 Next time she goes out, if you happen to know where head out with a couple of mates. Don't spy on her or anything. Just see what's up. The way I see it is she's just young and wanting to be out and about. But your not doing anything wrong by voicing your worries, especially seeing they haven't changed! PSN: Rcp_soundz Good rule of thump is go by what fuse size is being used in these amps. The higher the more amperage it pulls, this is what I look at. I'll stick a 300 amp fuse in a potato and sell it to you for $2k. 1991 Mazda 323VERY small build thread here: http://www.stevemead...23-small-build/
JEMT8 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Report Posted October 31, 2012 I think I am going to talk to we on my lunch real in a couple hours and see if we can come to some sort of middle ground and I see where I stand in her life. I just don't want her to think she can walk all over me by making me feel like a controlling jack ass and threatening to break it off if I don't stop "acting that way" formerly known as Jaylor Swift
CHEVY4X4BLAZER Posted October 31, 2012 Report Posted October 31, 2012 I think she's too young and not mature enough to actually be "just friends" with an ex. Some people can pull it off. Others still have an attraction.
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