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My finished car audio satire!!!!


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Posted

Christopher Orrin Drost

Ms. Wiest

World Lit.

05/15/13

Satire

As I push my cart through the checkout line in Wal-Mart the cashier smiles and says “Have a nice day sir.” She knows that I’m a big spender. I approach the doors and they open for me. Walking out with my head held high. The girls all stare at my brand new Boss Audio RIOT 2000 Watt Monoblock Mosfet power amplifier with my Boss Audio CX124DVC Chaos Extreme 12 inch subwoofer. I stopped at the local Home Depot to pick up some 4 gauge wire to use as power and ground to the amp. I heard from my friend’s, ex-girlfriend’s, cousin’s, room mate’s, uncle twice removed’s, best friend said that Boss has the “louds” and is the best car audio company on the market, and that there is no difference between wire you get from Home Depot and car audio wire besides the fact that real car audio wire is way more expensive but a lot more flexible. When I got home i found a fuse that I didn't think I needed from my car and cut the wire in half and taped the two ends to the prongs on the fuse. For a box I used the box the subwoofer came in with a 3 inch diameter hole as the port, then I sealed all the edges with duct tape and cut a hole for the sub and just set it in. After doing all of this i forgot to buy speaker wire so I went in the house and cut the wire of my wifes reading lamp. Unfortunately I forgot to unplug the lamp and got a gnarly little shock. Now that I had my new speaker wire i cut it into 3 pieces and realized i needed more; so I went back inside and cut the power cord of the wife’s hair drier and her alarm clock. After all the wires were cut I started to put random wires into random terminals on the sub and amp. As I looked at my amp I noticed I also forgot to buy RCAs so I started up my car and drove to Radio Shack and bought some. Back at home I took apart my dash and plugged in one side of the cable in the female ends on the head unit. But when I went to go put the dash back together none of the dash would fit, so I just threw it in the back seat which was later broken into three pieces by a friend. Once I ran the RCAs I started my car and played a song called “I Cook” by OJ Da Juiceman which is said to have the lows in it. This was a terrible mistake. As soon as the song hit its first low note the amp and sub blew and sparks flew everywhere and caught the cardboard box on fire which is what they call getting “Ghosted”. To top it all off since I forgot to hook up a remote wire the amp never shut off and drained my battery. These incidents did not stop me, no sir, the very next day I grabbed two shopping carts and strolled over the the car audio aisle in Wal-Mart.

Posted

cliffnotes :unknw: cuz aint nobody got time fo da chit

:ninja:

When your at the top everyone is coming for you, friends, family, haters and even those who don't know you.. my advice.. KILL EM ALL

Posted

Hahaha

1996 GMC Sonoma
Four Fi BTL Neo 18's In 2:1 6th Order Bandpass
2 Ampere 5k's @ .5

TEAM FI
TEAM #LITHIUMCANTDEMO

 

On 10/20/2013 at 0:37 AM, KillaCam said:

Fucking with a Prius driver is like making fun of a disabled kid. Pussies.

Posted

cliffnotes :unknw: cuz aint nobody got time fo da chit

:ninja:

Cliff notes for the ninja.

Dont buy your car audio at walmart and dont be a fucktard!

Posted

cliffnotes :unknw: cuz aint nobody got time fo da chit

:ninja:

Cliff notes for the ninja.

Dont buy your car audio at walmart and dont be a fucktard!

thats what the point of the paper. im glad its pretty clear cause my teacher wont get any of it lol

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