First time car blues! WTF!

[bassman619]

Nawwwwwwwwwwwwww.......mannnnnnnnnnn...donnnntttttt.. Don't do shit to that car..change the oil and the spark plugs and let her fuckit up . It's a jimmy..couldn't have costed you that much rite? Especially as it is now.. U said I'd buy it you bought it and now you want to hook it up? Naw..look man I crashed my 1st 2 cars.. And I bought both of them. After that I learned not to drive like an idiot and watch where I'm going all the time. So chances are she will either drive like a dumbass and wreck the car or drive like a dumbass and ruin the engine or transmission. If she wants to do something to the car let her do it.. Don't pay for anything.. It's a waste of money.. If she wants a system make her raise the money to buy everything. Sounds like she needs to learn the value of a dollar. Only way for that to happen is to see how hard it is to make a dollar and how easy it is to spend it.

[bbeljefe]

Either buy her a vehicle that's hers or don't. Borrowing someone else's ride in perpetuity isn't a good idea for either the borrower or the lender, as there is no incentive for her to maintain and take care of the vehicle and there is no reason for you to be stressing yourself over some wheels and suspension.

I also have a huge problem with putting electronic leashes on kids who are in the process of gaining their freedom and at the same time, trying to demonstrate that they can act responsibly with that freedom. She will resent the GPS on the vehicle and frankly, I don't blame her because I would have as well... had they been around when I was a kid.

In the end, you cannot expect someone to act responsibly when you are explicitly demonstrating to them that you don't trust them to do so.

[_paralyzed_]

You're asking for headaches. One of her redneck guy friends will think they know better than you and crank the gains on the amps, and the gf's daughter will let him, and your equipment will get blown.

Chances are that she will bump something and the truck will need bodywork at some point.

IMO let her drive it stock. Something will get messed up.

Never underestimate the persuasiveness and destructiveness of redneck boys over your gf's daughter. They will fuck your shit up as she smiles because she's getting attention.

Don't give anything to a teen that you can't handle being destroyed. It's a very real possibility.

[Deeznutz]

Thanks guys!! That is exactly what I wanted to hear. At times, I feel I may be making a mistake my getting the vehicle, for that very reason..."it's not her's so to take care of it, will not be a priority".

Neolito, I know she is going to screw something up on the truck which is why I told her I'd do weekly inspections of the truck. I do weekly inspections on my Bimmer and she runs great because of it. Call it paranoia if you will. lol. It works for me. As far as a toy, yeah to take to sound offs is/was the plan. I just can recall the significance of a "bad ass vehicle" back when I was in High School. I just want to show her what "she can have,....if she keeps her grades up, what she can have....if she decides to go to college". Sort of an incentive.

Cipher, I do agree. Even with an alarm there is no guarantee it will not get stolen.

Eminence, yes we all learn from our mistakes. That was a funny story! I even told my gf, the vehicle is her training vehicle which SHOULD last her through her junior and senior year.

Bassman, I did buy it with the intention of a sound off vehicle. She needed a vehicle. 1+1=2 is how it came about.

Bbeljefe, the tracking was my wealthy buddies idea. He bought it for the M5 he gave his 16 year old daughter. He tracked her every move. I joked around with her and told her "I saw your paper route!" meaning all of her stops. The stops were marked. WTH, she went, here, there, than back here like someone who lost their way in the neighborhood. lol. She only sped one. She was PISSED he did it, but he told her "do the speed limit or lose your ride". I do not feel there is anything wrong with that. It's wrong... only in the eyes of the person for whom it works against. I do appreciate the point of view though. Something to think about.

I guess my biggest point, is what ever happened to just shutting the f**k up and taking what it given to you as a first vehicle?? LOL. I feel she is out of line, with what she wants vs what she is getting. Some kids would kill for something nice the first time around. It's someone else's tab, so you get what you get until you are of legal signing age and are able to get what you want. Case in point, her little boyfriend wanted a ricer, a Honda Prelude, Integra, etc. Dad said no to alot of vehicles the boy suggested. Instead, they went and picked up a 1987 Pontiac Trans Am. May not be what the boy wanted, but he is smart enough to see the bigger picture....it's not his money.....but it's a car he can call his own for being 16. Plus I feel the father had his own agenda with this vehicle. Whether he is reliving his own teenage years, because he could not afford one at age 16, or knows how to work on them. Maybe alittle of both. Still you get what you get for now.

I really do appreciate the different view points. All great advise I would be telling my friend if he were in my shoes.

-Frank

[philrab]

I can tell you how my father (and I, when me and my daughter hit this point) would have handled this.

"If you don't like it, walk you little shit"

Kids these days (I'm only 30, but Hell my generation is guilty as well) feel entitled to all kinds of crap most of us had to work our butts off for. I bought my first car from my parents, and it wasn't anything special. When shit broke, I had to fix it. Hence, I had a healthy respect for that car, and would mercilously berate friends that dirtied it up or didn't treat it with respect. On the other end, several friends of mine that had relatively new cars given to them treated it like they lived in a third world country, and the cars looked like they'd been driven through Iraq after a year or so. Kids also get this idea that they are entitled to privacy. My Dad's response would have been "my house, my rules. If you don't like it, go buy your own house and all the privacy that comes with it."

Do what you think is right. If you don't want to lift the truck, that's just her tough luck. If she pitches a fit, I'd just calmly take the keys and hand her a bus pass, then tell her to get the Hell over it.

[alaskanzx5]

For all my kids they will get a beater. I'll buy it a year or 2 before they get their license and make them figure out what needs replacing and do the work themselves. I'll buy the parts and point/give directions or advice but 90% of the work will be done by them. The work they put in will be them earning the car as their own. Them keeping good grades will keep them behind the wheels. During the school year I'll cover gas for getting to and from school only along with repairs unless they gave a job. During the summer they will work for gas mo ey and repairs.

[Deeznutz]

LMAO. You just made my day Philrab. LMAO.

-Frank

[Joshua Dumas]

My girlfriend seems same way as your girlfriends daughter.... it's like she takes everything for granted and complains when it doesn't go her way.

She's in college right now and her parents are really struggling to pay for all the bills and they just got her a 1990s Ford Taurus to drive for the next three years so she can get to her on the job portion of school.

And all she does is complain how ugly it is or how it smells old and blah blah blah haha. It even gets me frustrated.

I was very fortunate and my dad gave me his Honda accord when he got a new one. I've had to pay for everything for it and I haven't once complained except for the rate that garages charge for service.

If I were you I would try and make it so she has to pay her way for the car so she can learn the value of a dollar. My girlfriend thinks I have a money tree lol

[Deeznutz]

Josh, having a car changes "The game" of things. Now I can see why my old man was frustrated with me when I told him I wanted a 1989 Mustang GT. That thing was $18,000-$20,000 or so. That wasn't going to happen. In hind sight, he kept me on the road for next to nothing because it cost him $300.00 for the Plymouth Belvedere! That thing was a tank in many respects. lol. That thing had no power options except for the ignition and lights. No AC either. In that respect parents are smart. They know going into it, if the kid damages the car/truck. they....I mean they as in the parents...will have to shell out the money to fix it.....not the teen. The teens argument for "I can't drive it, so I can't go to work, blah,blah,blah". Teens are a financial burden....and they do not even realize it!

And another thing, what my parents said is completely true, "Friends like you for you, not for the vehicle you drive".

I'm actually gathering up comments from you guys in order to hit all the high points when I talk to her. I know she is upset,...but............. she is the minor and WE are the adults.

-Frank

[philrab]

LMAO. You just made my day Philrab. LMAO.

-Frank

What'd I say???

Seriously though, everyone here can see you're giving this girl a really square deal, and if I didn't think so I'd speak my mind. Just sounds like she's got a raging case of teenage butthurt and needs to build a bridge (to get over it.) My Dad didn't put up with any crap from me or my younger brother. He gave it to us straight, and always told us "My job isn't to make you happy, that's your job. My job is to teach you to take care of yourself." Same principle applies here; what would you be teaching her if you gave her everything she wanted without having to earn it?