Big P Posted July 12, 2008 Report Share Posted July 12, 2008 After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charger Posted July 12, 2008 Report Share Posted July 12, 2008 Gotta' love Qantas Quote Previous 150+ daily rides: Volvo 240 wagon 2 x DD Audio 9915s walled, Isuzu Trooper 6 x DD Audio 3515s walled clamshell, Lexus LX470 2 x Kicked Solo X 18s, Lexus LS400 4 x American Bass HD18 walled SMD - System of The Month August 2008 My Youtube Videos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wL<3bass Posted July 12, 2008 Report Share Posted July 12, 2008 First time reading it that's pretty funny Quote Vehicle: 1997 S10 Blazer 4dr 4X4 Exterior: Rear End Bagged, Black Grill, Lifted 2" Amplifiers: Rockford Fosgate T8004 & T10001bd Batteries: 2 Stinger SPV35, Kinetik HC2400 Electrical: Big 3, DC Power 290amp Alternator w/ MLA at 15.5v Enclosure: 4.2 ft³ @ 33Hz 84sq.in. of port (20sq.in. per cube) Headunit: Eclipse CD3200 w/ 80G iPod Mids/Highs: Rockford T152s (a-pillars), Rockford T162s (doors) Subwoofers: 1 15" Fi BL Fully Loaded Wire: All 1/0g Kicker Hyperflex My YouTube Videos My Fiberglass A-Pillar Build My "Seamless" Looking Box Build My DD1508 T-Line Bandpass Build "Seamless" w/ Acrylic Windows (for '05 TrailBlazer) My Stealth 8" Fiberglass Build (for '05 TrailBlazer) My Build For A Friend's '08 Cobalt 15" BL Sealed Off From The Trunk My feedback/references... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassJunkie Posted July 12, 2008 Report Share Posted July 12, 2008 P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget thats hilarious! Quote 1986 C20 Suburban 9 American Bass XFL 15's B2 M1MKII 14v XS Power Batteries Maxwell Caps Acoustical energy is free. Electrical energy is not you havent lived until you've hit a screw with a router. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-Train Posted July 12, 2008 Report Share Posted July 12, 2008 I cant stop laughing Quote 1997 4 Runner Alpine CDA-9886 4 Fi Audio X Series 12's 1 Crunch GP3000D Pro DC Power Inc. Alternator(Kickin out 15+ volts!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godsmack Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 woman got mad at me for laughin while my cam was on and she was upset still funny shit Quote "No poor dumb bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He did it by making the other poor dumb bastard for his country." George Patton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiTownTBird312 Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 thats some funny shit right there. favorite ones lol P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. Quote Matt W. 1996 Thunderbird LX Sport 4.6 new system soon...still deciding on what to get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gremlin Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 that shit is funny as hell Quote current set-up: headunit: kenwood excelon kdc-x891 mids: front: mb quart reference 6.5s rear: pioneer TSA941 6x9 mid and high amp: performance technique ICBM-773 sub amp: kicker 08zx2500.1 subs: (2) 08s15l7d2 4.25 cubic foot sealed box big 3 all in hooker 1/0 wiring Sacrifice your car to the Audio Gods and DBs will come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeus Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 That's some good shit Quote R8DR4LF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ISO Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 Thats some great stuff man. It made me LMFAO. Quote Isobaric - Refers to the practice of coupling two drivers together to make them act as one. "Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go." Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The Destruction of a person builds character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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