What Are Some Ridiculous Things You've Heard At Work?

[Namosh]

I install lawn irrigation systems. We started a job once and the home owner complained "I didn't know you were going to dig so many holes"

I guess we could have just built it all setting on top of the ground but that might make it a little hard to mow the grass.

[may03LT]

a customer dropped their car off for repair, heres the note they left

:duh::dielaughing:

[MickyMcD]

"So why don't they sound any good out here?"

'Because they aren't sounding any good down there.'

"What do you mean?"

'Well, if they don't sing on stage, they don't sing in the auditorium. Shit in, shit out. We can't polish a turd."

"Can you turn it up a little?"

'Well, if you don't give me any fucking signal, you don't get any volume.'

"How do we make it louder?"

'Sing, not talk.'

"oh, I thought the mics made it louder like that..."

FACEPALM

'You know mate, no electricity comes up through these leads. It's all hoses mate, they carry smoke. When smoke comes out of gear, it means you've broken something and let the smoke out. Gotta take care of you smokehoses.'

"Really? That explains so much."

FACEPALM

I had a band give me a hard time when I brought a large amount of audio gear to a gig, and the drummer said that it got 'so damn loud' in his car, he could make it that loud in the venue. So I got him to drive his car up the dock, onto the stage and ran the mix through it. After about ten seconds of his car shaking itself apart and not being able to hear a thing, he came up, blushing like mad, and asked if he could back his car out and give me a hand setting up.

Gold

Cheers,

Mick

[Guest]

"Sony has good SQ"

"the W7 is the loudest subwoofer in the world. it hits over 200db"

"what subs you got in there?" *he pops open his trunk*

"what are they?"

"i got these 2 from a junkyard" *points to a pre-fab box with 2 subs with no dust caps*

"what are these?" *i point to 2 other 12's in a pre-fab box, i think they were RF HK2's*

"i dont know, my uncle gave them to me"

5 minutes later he drives off, the thing was so distorted that you couldnt hear the bass over the distortion.

*note that these are all from the same guy, he now has 2 12" Polk db's in the stock pre-fab plastic-y box. MSRP, $500 because he told me he got it from some circuit city/best buy*

[EricM9104]

"So why don't they sound any good out here?"

'Because they aren't sounding any good down there.'

"What do you mean?"

'Well, if they don't sing on stage, they don't sing in the auditorium. Shit in, shit out. We can't polish a turd."

"Can you turn it up a little?"

'Well, if you don't give me any fucking signal, you don't get any volume.'

"How do we make it louder?"

'Sing, not talk.'

"oh, I thought the mics made it louder like that..."

FACEPALM

'You know mate, no electricity comes up through these leads. It's all hoses mate, they carry smoke. When smoke comes out of gear, it means you've broken something and let the smoke out. Gotta take care of you smokehoses.'

"Really? That explains so much."

FACEPALM

I had a band give me a hard time when I brought a large amount of audio gear to a gig, and the drummer said that it got 'so damn loud' in his car, he could make it that loud in the venue. So I got him to drive his car up the dock, onto the stage and ran the mix through it. After about ten seconds of his car shaking itself apart and not being able to hear a thing, he came up, blushing like mad, and asked if he could back his car out and give me a hand setting up.

Gold

Cheers,

Mick

LOL.

"Sony has good SQ"

"the W7 is the loudest subwoofer in the world. it hits over 200db"

"what subs you got in there?" *he pops open his trunk*

"what are they?"

"i got these 2 from a junkyard" *points to a pre-fab box with 2 subs with no dust caps*

"what are these?" *i point to 2 other 12's in a pre-fab box, i think they were RF HK2's*

"i dont know, my uncle gave them to me"

5 minutes later he drives off, the thing was so distorted that you couldnt hear the bass over the distortion.

*note that these are all from the same guy, he now has 2 12" Polk db's in the stock pre-fab plastic-y box. MSRP, $500 because he told me he got it from some circuit city/best buy*

Ya know.... since it sounds like you work in a stereo shop, you could've helped the guy out with getting his equipment sound cleaner.

[Shyne151]

"Where your drywatts at?" -referring to equalizers... very common phrase in this area.

"Man I'm hittin over 155 with my mojos" - a shop down the road likes to tell their customers that two mojo 15"s hits over 155 i guess... because i hear that one alot

"You guys got them twist-on-tweets?"

"ABC Warehouse fucked my shit up" - hahaha, i hear that one alot.

those are just a couple off the top of my head.

[etaks_crew]

One day I was working the 12 items or less lane. A lady had like 20 things I was like its okay. She had DVD's, CD's and some other suff. When I was dont ringing her up it was like 65 and some change. Shes like I only have 30 dollars so I say what would ou like to get rid of. after like 10 min of her going thur her cart she still has to knock off 8 bucks. I say how about the cherry's since there like 3.99 a pound and she had like 7 buck worth of cherries. She tooks at me and says NO!! I need those for when I get cotton mouth.

[McLovin]

I get these 2 a lot at my work. I work for a beer distributor up here and ppl are always like got any free samples. I tell them they missed it by 5 minutes and come back tomorrow. The other one is always hey see that truck over there just throw it in the back.

[EricR]

I had a woman tell me at the auto shop i work for "I want new tires" and blah blah her whole life story.. shes obviously shit faced on some pills. I seen em! Anyways shes demanding dayton tires.. we dont sell dayton tires. After explaining this to her she demanded we find her some daytons.. so I slam the phone book on the counter and point to the phone. Told her to dial nine to get a line out. Twentys minutes of yelling on the phone from this bitch and she finds some.. like 45 miles away. She demands we go pick up tires from some other store and put them on her car. Everyone behind the counter starts laughing at her and she starts yelling and leaves.... then her battery died in the parking lot.. we check it, dead cel in it. She says we sabotaged her vehicle while it was in the bay.. the way she explained it we "opened the battery and took that cell out or killed it." so.. i clocked out for lunch.

lol i want some of what shes got.

one day last week we got this new guy really good. he started monday so we gave him a few days to see what kinda guy he was. real young kid, didn't know shit about what goes on in a fab shop. so i go up to him with a plastic bucket lookin thing and say hey man can you go down to the end of the shop and get me some Argon? he goes yea man no problem and kinda looks around not knowing what tha fuck argon was and walks off. Now apparantly this kid didn't pay attention in science/lab class......Argon is a Gas, not a liquid. so we are all laughing our asses off hes already asked like 10 other people and he comes back to me and says he can't find any we are out. so i take him out back where our compressors are and there are 2 big white tanks, one for argon and one for oxygen. i tell him to look up at the tank on the right and in big ass green letters it says argon. i kinda look at him kinda half laughin and he says...."oh its gas how do i put it in this bucket then" im like dude i was joking and walk off. what a freakin idiot!!

[Brick2560]

poor kid!!