nCOMP1337 Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 Long message, i talk to much, maybe its a ginger thing, LOL Has anyone ever continuously abused your help over and over, never learning from their mistakes and only driving themselves back into the same problems all the time? Here is what the problem is. My sister moved in with me in february, her, her bf, and her daughter. She helped watch my kids on my weekends with them (i have custody but every other week their go to their moms, and i only work sat, sun, mon, til 1-2am) and in exchange i paid her 150 dollars in child support every two weeks, that she owed for the kids she doesnt have custody of. after a few months went by, my bills went up an extra 150-200 dollars per month because they were living with me, they did nothing to help out financially and only helped some with food when they had some food stamps. Her bf didnt have a job until maybe april or may full time, but apparently he got screwed out of a proper paycheck every week. She helped clean the house (filling up dishwasher and sweeping floor, thats it, literally) and she didnt work or anything, and was behind in child support and turned it into being my responsibility to pay it for her, acting like it was my bill to pay. now she didnt have to watch my kids, she asked me if she could. my kids' mom could easily watch them when i work. But since she was doing that i decidedihelp her out, however once they started costing me an extra 150-200 per month and not helping out financially, i couldnt afford to pay for her support anymore, so i would make half payments and she needed to come up with the other half. She donated plasma for a month and then decided she didnt have to pay support anymore, whatever not my issue. So fast forward to october, they have basically been mooching off of me for 8 months, a have had no bills the entire year and still have no money to show for anything. In september her boyfriend got a job making 400 per week or so, and still no money to show for it, even though they have no bills. She watched my kids for me in october for maybe 1.5 - 2 hours and when i came home i found out half a bottle of hydrocodone went missing (it was a brand new bottle, and i had not taken any), so 30 pills went missing, she swears she didnt take it even though out of mine and her kids, none of them can reach above my fridge (6ft tall fridge) and even if they could, what child is going to struggle up the counter, steal the only medication with a street value and get away with it without anyone in the house seeing it (she had her 5 kids and my 2). Then later that night after i got home, there is a person in my house (a friend of hers) that came of just to give her some money. Yea, i lose medicine and someone is magically letting you borrow money. she blamed her kids at first and finally the next day she decided to move out and stay at my brothers. Though she told everyone ion the family that i kicked her out. Then a few weeks later she watches my kids, tells me her back hurts and asks for two hydrocodone, i have a brand new bottle again, so i give her two. She makes a big thing out of this because she wants to be sure i dont think she took my medicine. I leave, come back dont think anything of my medicine. Go to go to bed around 3am and think, hey ill count my medicine. sure enough, 4 pills were missing. This time for sure it had to be her. She texts me for the next 2 hours swearing it wasnt her, then saying whatever fine do this to family, im tired of being accused of something i didnt do. the next day she texts me admitting to stealing my medicine. I told her i would still babysit her daughter (by this time she just got a job and i have been watching her daughter 3 times per week). yesterday she calls me talking about she cant afford christmas for her kids. Now remember her bf has a job making 400 or so per week, although right now i guess he is only making 200 per week, plus she has a job now. Christmas is the same time every year, it is easy to plan for. But with having no bills for an entire year, they are still broke with nothing to show for it and still living off of family (my brother and I). So i go on a little rant basically tell her that its time she grows up and becomes the mature responsible adult she needs to be to take care of her family. She has 5 kids (oldest is 14), its time to get your shit in order. She yells at me saying shes tired of me lecturing her everytime i see her or talk to her on the phone. I ma her "little brother" and have no right to lecture her. Oh so she is belittling me, since i am younger i cant be more mature and responsible? I lived for two years on 200 per month and on welfare while going to college and taking care of my terminally ill father, both full time. Besides work, school, and my dad, I had to clean, cook, and take care of my s because i had a bad excuse for a wife (yea, i learned my lesson there). Then on 800 per month i took care of myself, my sisters family and my exs bills (had to keep bills up while divorce was going through). Now i make over 2k per month and still taking care of her and my own family, sorry but i think i have the right to lecture on someone not being a mature, responsible parent. Especially when they lived off of me for almost a year and are still broke. Oh just remember the van she drives, i gave it to her for 300, i paid 400 for it and fixed it up for 600 and she paid me 300 for it out of tax money and i told her that was enough she didnt have to pay me the rest (she was going to pay 600 initially). Yea 300 isnt much, but over everything ive helped her with and my brother, sorry there is no excuse to not at least have some bank saved up or be on your own completely by now. Then today i go to pick my niece up cause i am watching her, its noon, no one answers the door. She is at my moms, so my moms 3 dogs were barking like crazy, quite loud. Finally i leave, her van is there so i know she is there, but after texts, phone calls, and knocking on the door with dogs barking, no one answers. Came to find out she was sleeping still, with nothing to do, no reason to be sleeping that late. Knowing when i am coming to pick up her daughter to watch her, there is no reason she shouldnt have had her daughter ready at noon. So i start lecturing her again, cant help it, responsibility doesnt run far in my family, and again she belittles me, cause her younger brother shouldnt has no right to lecture her, im no better than her. So that pisses me off, i say, you know what, i am better than you right now, youve lived for free with no bills for almost an entire year and you and your bf are completely broke, there is no excuse for that. She hangs up on me instead of listening. So that pisses me off more, it pushed me past the line, i told her i was done helping her and i wouldnt watch her kid anymore, she obviously doesnt care for what vie done for her all year and isnt using it to better her situation at all. No bills and costing me almost 2000 dollars throughout the year and you still cant do anything for yourselves, and your bf makes 1500-2000 per month. Throughout the years, shes little been through everyone in the family for help, but everyone always give up on her when she just starts getting on her feet. So of course she always fell on her face. I was always her biggest advocate, helping her no matter what, setting myself back, and she just takes advantage of everything ive done and is no better off for it. So I finally decided im done with it all. She texted me for an hour begging me to watch her kid, but i wont do it, she needs to do shit for herself now or find someone else to take advantage of. Being family is simply an obligation to care, i will not take part in any obligatory helping her just cause im family. If anyone read my really long introduction post, which i doubt many did, who reads, wait this is long too, damn.......then you would know, due to two personality disorders i have, the way i think, people dont matter to me, if it makes me an asshole, then sorry i cant do anything about it. Less than 5 people actually mean anything to me out of the hundreds that i know personally. I dont feel emotion, so things like sadness and guilt that she tries to make me feel because im family and family helps each other out, just wont work. If your curious about the disorders, google narcissistic personality disorder and obsessive compulsive personality disorder okay rant is over anyone else ever feel like your help was abused and just let it happen for such a long time that it just became utterly ridiculous that the person still hasnt gotten their life together? do you think that just because you are family you should help family out? I get along with all of my family basically, but ive always had better relationships with friends than family. sorry for the ridiculously long rant, but it wouldnt have made sense if you didnt know the context, but im good now, haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n8ball2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 Obama will take care of her. 5 kids. Jesus christ. THERE IS NO BUILD LOG! 1998 Chevy Silverado ext cab Alpine CDA-9887 4 Team Fi 15s 2 Ampere Audio TFE 8.0 2 Ampere Audio 150.4 3 Digital Designs CS6.5 component sets Dual Mechman 370XP Elite alternators inbound! 8 XS Power d3400 6 XS power d680 Second Skin Stinger Tsunami Wiring Sky High A Real Voltmeter not a piece of shit stinger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
audiolamb6 Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 ive had custody of my kids since 06 and my daughter has up and decided to move to her moms that not given a shit about her so yeah i know how u fill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrzechNJ Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 I read entire thing.. I could misunderstood some things but you should just let it go man.. I understand its a family but for how long you could let somebody use you.. its too much.. and shes older than you and cant put her shit together.. FUCK THAT.. sometimes Loud is NOT pretty Sounds like its safe to go ahead and bend that ass over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nCOMP1337 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 Obama will take care of her. 5 kids. Jesus christ. Yea, funny thing is, that just recently she put 3 anti-obama stickers on her van ive had custody of my kids since 06 and my daughter has up and decided to move to her moms that not given a shit about her so yeah i know how u fill That sucks man, my ex is trying to move to colorado, she even stole custody from me back in august and it took me 2 months and 1300 dollars but i got custody back. I was never notified of the hearing and therefore didnt go and that is why i lost custody. Neither my lawyer or the court follow proper procedure and i easily won custody back. My lawyer was sending my paperwork to my old address, where my ex lives now, and she knew i wouldnt find out so she tried to take me for everything she could. During the time leading up to that court case, I talked to my lawyer on 3 separate occasions to take her to court for full custody and he never once mentioned that case. My kids yell, scream, fight me every weekend i take them to their moms, it sucks, they think im the bad guy, they think they are being punished. Everyday i pick them up from school, they tell me they were good today, can they go to my house. It is stupid my kids have to deal with that and that law makes me take them to her place, because she deserves quality parenting time even though she just wants to move to colorado and leave them here anyways. And to add to it, she previously left two kids in australia when she moved here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant_Skyrim Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 Read the whole thing too. There are going to be people who tell you it's family, you put up with them no matter what. Well I'm on the opposite side. In cases like this, don't keep giving her free handouts. My dad's half of the family (majority of it at least) is a bunch of people that are into drugs and can't ever seem to get off their feet. They're only going to keep bringing you down if they didn't take the second chance you gave them and use it wisely. That's my philosophy at least. You only get one second chance. Fuck it up and you're on your own. Also, I wouldn't have put up with her lying about the whole pill thing. She had a chance to come clean right when you noticed and she didn't. She's only going to keep using you and getting you to forgive her everytime. It really comes down to how you feel though, and if you're going to be able to sleep at night. If you can sleep at night knowing that she won't be mooching off you, then that's great in my opinion. If you let her keep mooching off you, well, you're the only person who had the ability to stop it and you'll have to live with that Build in progress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nCOMP1337 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 Read the whole thing too. There are going to be people who tell you it's family, you put up with them no matter what. Well I'm on the opposite side. In cases like this, don't keep giving her free handouts. My dad's half of the family (majority of it at least) is a bunch of people that are into drugs and can't ever seem to get off their feet. They're only going to keep bringing you down if they didn't take the second chance you gave them and use it wisely. That's my philosophy at least. You only get one second chance. Fuck it up and you're on your own. Also, I wouldn't have put up with her lying about the whole pill thing. She had a chance to come clean right when you noticed and she didn't. She's only going to keep using you and getting you to forgive her everytime. It really comes down to how you feel though, and if you're going to be able to sleep at night. If you can sleep at night knowing that she won't be mooching off you, then that's great in my opinion. If you let her keep mooching off you, well, you're the only person who had the ability to stop it and you'll have to live with that agreed. I can sleep just fine at night too, as i stated already, i dont have emotions, wont bother me. And if for some reason i couldnt, then I have knockout medicine, literally, LOL. I have narcolepsy with cataplexy and the medicine for it is basically GHB or the date rape drug (main ingredient is sodium oxybate) scheduled 1 drug without prescription (so highly illegal), schedule 3 with prescription, only one pharmacy in the whole country dispenses it stuff is serious, that medicine plus the fact that my other medicine has been stolen is why i am investing in a safe, just for my medication, LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tecomah Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 I read the really long post. I know the feeling of not feeling too much emotion. I had a professional give me the diagnosis of minor narcissistic personality disorder but others just said I was fine and just a little cold hearted. I feel emotion towards very few people but feel that I should do the right thing when I can because of my religion even when I don't feel all warm and fuzzy. If I were you I would just stop messing with all the drama. I understand it will be hard because she's your sister but there's nothing you can do man. You've already tried multiple times. 750??! Yeah, fuck that. Fuck this website, fuck SMD, fuck Steve, fuck all of his butt buddy mods, and their couches.^ DON'T BE A DICK LIKE THIS GUY Team Subsonic Lows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
audiolamb6 Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 Obama will take care of her. 5 kids. Jesus christ. Yea, funny thing is, that just recently she put 3 anti-obama stickers on her van ive had custody of my kids since 06 and my daughter has up and decided to move to her moms that not given a shit about her so yeah i know how u fill That sucks man, my ex is trying to move to colorado, she even stole custody from me back in august and it took me 2 months and 1300 dollars but i got custody back. I was never notified of the hearing and therefore didnt go and that is why i lost custody. Neither my lawyer or the court follow proper procedure and i easily won custody back. My lawyer was sending my paperwork to my old address, where my ex lives now, and she knew i wouldnt find out so she tried to take me for everything she could. During the time leading up to that court case, I talked to my lawyer on 3 separate occasions to take her to court for full custody and he never once mentioned that case. My kids yell, scream, fight me every weekend i take them to their moms, it sucks, they think im the bad guy, they think they are being punished. Everyday i pick them up from school, they tell me they were good today, can they go to my house. It is stupid my kids have to deal with that and that law makes me take them to her place, because she deserves quality parenting time even though she just wants to move to colorado and leave them here anyways. And to add to it, she previously left two kids in australia when she moved here. yeah my daughter just turned 18 but alabama is 19 but she has been gone 2 weeks and is finding out its not fun over there already asking to come and visit . she said things that she knows she shouldnt have said so im letting her stay there till she see what i already know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nCOMP1337 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 I read the really long post. I know the feeling of not feeling too much emotion. I had a professional give me the diagnosis of minor narcissistic personality disorder but others just said I was fine and just a little cold hearted. I feel emotion towards very few people but feel that I should do the right thing when I can because of my religion even when I don't feel all warm and fuzzy. If I were you I would just stop messing with all the drama. I understand it will be hard because she's your sister but there's nothing you can do man. You've already tried multiple times. its hard for people to understand what its like no having emotion. It took me roughly 15 years to get to the point in which i basically studied people and read enough ton where i felt like i seemed normal to everyone. Ive been dealing with this since i was 8 years old. Because ive worked on my problems for so long, i can go through life basically "acting" normal, sort of like how dexter has a normal life and then other times hes just a serial killer, LOL the only part of my life it really hits me hard is close friendships, people just cant handle my issues and they all just end up not being friends anymore. So i just dont make new friends personally, i make no effort to know people, if someone makes n effort to know me, then cool, but i dont care to make friends. i wont even bother with trying to be in a relationship right now. Been divorced for two years, and that was enough drama to keep me annoyed for years to come. Plus my kids are my constant focus before someone says, what about sex......nope doesnt matter to me, i am asexual.......im full of fun facts, LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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