Need some personal advice, guys.

[bbeljefe]

I know I'm very different than many here, but if my father ran into my car, I'd either just call insurance or do it myself. My parents are the most important people to me and in the Polynesian culture, humility is a big part of how we show respect and love.

If it were me...I'd just eat it

"humility is a big part of how we show respect and love"

So is it a demonstration of humility, respect and love to damage your son's property and refuse to fix it? Or does that principle only apply to children and those who are weaker than you?

I don't abide cultural rules of any kind, most importantly because the first four letters of the word describe what it really means.

This event occurred between two men. One of them deserves to have his property restored to its original condition and the other deserves to pay for it. We shouldn't be let off the hook for bad behavior simply because we fucked once and made a child. Any moron can get laid. If his father wants his respect, then he should earn it just like any other human being should.

/rant

[CortezDTV]

Lets just say I'm that "friend"....

Haha I can imagine how that went!

[TeamHT]

I know I'm very different than many here, but if my father ran into my car, I'd either just call insurance or do it myself. My parents are the most important people to me and in the Polynesian culture, humility is a big part of how we show respect and love.

If it were me...I'd just eat it

"humility is a big part of how we show respect and love"

So is it a demonstration of humility, respect and love to damage your son's property and refuse to fix it? Or does that principle only apply to children and those who are weaker than you?

I don't abide cultural rules of any kind, most importantly because the first four letters of the word describe what it really means.

This event occurred between two men. One of them deserves to have his property restored to its original condition and the other deserves to pay for it. We shouldn't be let off the hook for bad behavior simply because we fucked once and made a child. Any moron can get laid. If his father wants his respect, then he should earn it just like any other human being should.

/rant

It's obvious you know nothing of respect, humility, and love. If my dad right now ran into my truck, I'd never question it. If he helped out great, if not I will fix it. I don't care about your culture, I care about mine. And if you don't have any experience with a traditional Samoan family you have no idea what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're ranting about, because I honor my parents differently than you?

[skittlesRgood]

I know I'm very different than many here, but if my father ran into my car, I'd either just call insurance or do it myself. My parents are the most important people to me and in the Polynesian culture, humility is a big part of how we show respect and love.

If it were me...I'd just eat it

"humility is a big part of how we show respect and love"

So is it a demonstration of humility, respect and love to damage your son's property and refuse to fix it? Or does that principle only apply to children and those who are weaker than you?

I don't abide cultural rules of any kind, most importantly because the first four letters of the word describe what it really means.

This event occurred between two men. One of them deserves to have his property restored to its original condition and the other deserves to pay for it. We shouldn't be let off the hook for bad behavior simply because we fucked once and made a child. Any moron can get laid. If his father wants his respect, then he should earn it just like any other human being should.

/rant

It's obvious you know nothing of respect, humility, and love. If my dad right now ran into my truck, I'd never question it. If he helped out great, if not I will fix it. I don't care about your culture, I care about mine. And if you don't have any experience with a traditional Samoan family you have no idea what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're ranting about, because I honor my parents differently than you?

you both had valid points. I have to ask though, how many times would it take before you said something or even demanded?

[Chris Hammer]

There is a thing called respect and its is supposed to go BOTH ways. My dad hits my truck, its a hey lets fix it this weekend kind of thing....he would man up say hey I made a mistake (everyone does we are human) then is would be a father son day doing some minor body work, and I might actually learn a thing or two since he used to do it for a living over 25yrs ago. If I hit his truck it would go down the same way...just because they are your parent does not mean they ruin your shit its ok, its not about humility, its about respect and pride and dignity, and his father having those things and manning up to what he did and going about it in a civil manner to fix the problem.

Oh and if my dad did more damage to one of my things then we could handle it would get fixed properly..it has happened before...He dropped a motorcycle stand and ruined my front fender on my sportbike..he replaced it.

Also a few years ago I was working in the garage and he had his harley uncovered to work on it, I dropped a socket just right that is bounced and did much more damage then I would expect to the rear fender, enough that it needed paint. I forked it out and got it fixed righ teven though I was working at SlaverBros getting paid shit.

You talk about honoring your parents, and culture, if thats what you believe in I respect it, but take a step back...shouldnt respect, honor go both ways? just my 2c...also why I have the views I do...we are all raised different, I was raised to own up to my mistakes, take responsibility, because thats what my parents do, especially my dad.

(EDIT) I'm not saying anyone opinion is wrong, or their parents raised them incorrectly, or am trying to sway others in any way..this is just my opinion and experiences, take what you want, leave what you dont but don't turn it into a bitching fest.

[bbeljefe]

I know I'm very different than many here, but if my father ran into my car, I'd either just call insurance or do it myself. My parents are the most important people to me and in the Polynesian culture, humility is a big part of how we show respect and love.

If it were me...I'd just eat it

"humility is a big part of how we show respect and love"

So is it a demonstration of humility, respect and love to damage your son's property and refuse to fix it? Or does that principle only apply to children and those who are weaker than you?

I don't abide cultural rules of any kind, most importantly because the first four letters of the word describe what it really means.

This event occurred between two men. One of them deserves to have his property restored to its original condition and the other deserves to pay for it. We shouldn't be let off the hook for bad behavior simply because we fucked once and made a child. Any moron can get laid. If his father wants his respect, then he should earn it just like any other human being should.

/rant

It's obvious you know nothing of respect, humility, and love. If my dad right now ran into my truck, I'd never question it. If he helped out great, if not I will fix it. I don't care about your culture, I care about mine. And if you don't have any experience with a traditional Samoan family you have no idea what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're ranting about, because I honor my parents differently than you?

It's interesting that you can tell so much about me after reading one comment on the internet.

Like I said, I don't care about culture. Not yours, not mine and not the one on the other side of the planet. For years and years it was the cultural norm for Chinese women to bind the feet of their daughters in an excruciatingly painful and, frankly, wholly perverted ritual. Should I also respect that since it was culturally driven? What about the practice of female genital mutilation? It's also cultural. Should it be honored?

When a person earns respect, he deserves it. When he doesn't earn it, he does not deserve it.... whether he's Samoan, Jewish, Chinese or Leprechaun.

My son doesn't owe me one ounce of respect that I don't earn and I make damn sure that I earn it because my bringing him into this world wasn't something he had a choice in. On the converse, I don't owe my father any respect that he doesn't earn and for the same reasons.

And what I'm ranting about is the notion that honoring someone is subjugating yourself to them. Those are two different terms because they describe two different actions.

[bbeljefe]

you both had valid points. I have to ask though, how many times would it take before you said something or even demanded?

If I got the response you got, I'd go immediately to my insurance company.

And btw, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It certainly isn't fair to you.

[Karkov]

Alright... I'll try to keep this short. So this morning my dad backs his car into mine. There is paint damage on both cars but he doesn't tell me about it. When I see him a little later, after I find out, I asked him what he was going to do to have my car fixed. He said "Nothing. It isn't that bad." That's a mater of opinion obviously as my car was in perfect shape before this. So anyways, I'm pissed off about this now. I'm convinced that he wont do anything about it and so I told him I was going to talk to my insurance about it. He said "don't call them." and his plan is, basically, to make me wait until I don't care about it and it just goes away... wont happen. If he had hit anyone else he wouldn't have a choice but to have it fixed.

now here are some circumstances to take into account. he bought the car for me back in 06 but it was a reward for graduating. I pay for insurance, registration, repairs, etc. my sister got the same deal. his car is a lease, so I don't know if this really screws him to have an accident on record.

So there's the simple breakdown... What would you do?

Man, very interesting thread. Thanks for bringing this up. Same thing happened to me twice, somewhat. My mother and my wifes mother have both backed into one of mine and my wifes vehicles. it's a 2004 model year car that was pristine and well taken care of with no imperfections until each of them had backed into it. One put a large dent in the side and the other took quite a bit of paint off front bumper. However each was more than willing to do what it took to fix it but both times i told them it was alright. I like my things perfect and clean (ocd) but it's hard when it's your own parents (both our moms) Ok, enough about me, I really don't know what to tell you. For me it would depend which of my vehicle they backed into and/or if the vehicle was able to function afterwards. i though about getting this car fixed as it still has low miles, parked in garage always, was flawless before hand, but i opted out of it just to be a nice guy. however, now every day i have to look at 2 noticeable blemishes that i didn't create and in a way it drives me nuts....Good luck on your final decision but thanks for bringing this whole thing up.

[Hellbilly429]

If you really want to piss him off just tell mom, then she'll tear him a new asshole and I'm sure the next day you will have an appointment for some body repair

[Chris Hammer]

LOLZ at hellbilly

one thing to consider is how much it harms resell value, my truck has more then a few dents from Grocery store where I worked...afte getting a quote form a few body shops I would lose money fixing them before I sold it, they hurt the value less then I would pay to fix them. Thats getting a quote to sell to carmax with the damage and without the damage....

just food for thought.