My SMD brothers & sisters I'm going through some sh*t

[Slawsen]

its legally as much her house as it is yours. change the locks; she can legally break into the house. Take jay's advice man..

I may have missed it, but are both of your names on the mortgage or w/e you guys have? if its only ur name you own it...if its only her name youre fucked. if both names, she can clean out the house and if you change the locks thatd be motivation enough for her.

[Superjay]

Man I'm glad I haven't hired that lawyer I talked to earlier today cause he didn't tell me about any of this stuff that your telling me about Superjay. He told me to just let her come and get her shit. He didn't say anything about a Exclusive Use Of The Home order. I guess I need to keep doing more and more research.

I've been through 2 divorces...one in CA and one in CT...if you need to ask some questions about hiring a lawyer, and what to do before you get one (like immediately) give me a call...

Dude if you could like PM your number I could text you. I really would like to pick your brain on what to do. Right now I'm too emotional to think clearly let alone think about what I need to do or request in form of a divorce.

look in the signature below this post...you will find what you seek

[Superjay]

its legally as much her house as it is yours. change the locks; she can legally break into the house. Take jay's advice man..

I may have missed it, but are both of your names on the mortgage or w/e you guys have? if its only ur name you own it...if its only her name youre fucked. if both names, she can clean out the house and if you change the locks thatd be motivation enough for her.

even if her name isn't on the house or any bills, she lived there for more than 30 days as a resident...she can, without cause, come into the home anytime she wants, until you get an exclusive use order. GET THAT NOW!!! you will have to serve her, even if it's by telephone. text message won't work, you have to tell her to show up so she can contest the order. This is your first opportunity to explain what's going to...be professional...NOT EMOTIONAL!!!! when she starts getting all emotional (and she will) the order will be granted, and the judge will ask if you want a restraining order. This part is up to you. If there hasnt' been any violence on her part, more than likely, you'll only get 30 days.

GO GET THE GODDAMNED ORDER NOW!!!!!!

[Slawsen]

its legally as much her house as it is yours. change the locks; she can legally break into the house. Take jay's advice man..

I may have missed it, but are both of your names on the mortgage or w/e you guys have? if its only ur name you own it...if its only her name youre fucked. if both names, she can clean out the house and if you change the locks thatd be motivation enough for her.

even if her name isn't on the house or any bills, she lived there for more than 30 days as a resident...she can, without cause, come into the home anytime she wants, until you get an exclusive use order. GET THAT NOW!!! you will have to serve her, even if it's by telephone. text message won't work, you have to tell her to show up so she can contest the order. This is your first opportunity to explain what's going to...be professional...NOT EMOTIONAL!!!! when she starts getting all emotional (and she will) the order will be granted, and the judge will ask if you want a restraining order. This part is up to you. If there hasnt' been any violence on her part, more than likely, you'll only get 30 days.

GO GET THE GODDAMNED ORDER NOW!!!!!!

yeah seriously....need to be calculating right now. you can sort out the emotional issues later cuz this is pretty important

edit: jay when he serves her the order couldn't she come clean out the house...lol

[pervitizm]

its legally as much her house as it is yours. change the locks; she can legally break into the house. Take jay's advice man..

I may have missed it, but are both of your names on the mortgage or w/e you guys have? if its only ur name you own it...if its only her name youre fucked. if both names, she can clean out the house and if you change the locks thatd be motivation enough for her.

even if her name isn't on the house or any bills, she lived there for more than 30 days as a resident...she can, without cause, come into the home anytime she wants, until you get an exclusive use order. GET THAT NOW!!! you will have to serve her, even if it's by telephone. text message won't work, you have to tell her to show up so she can contest the order. This is your first opportunity to explain what's going to...be professional...NOT EMOTIONAL!!!! when she starts getting all emotional (and she will) the order will be granted, and the judge will ask if you want a restraining order. This part is up to you. If there hasnt' been any violence on her part, more than likely, you'll only get 30 days.

GO GET THE GODDAMNED ORDER NOW!!!!!!

I can't find anything in Missouri called Exclusive Use Order. it looks like the only way I could get something even close to this in Missouri is to file a restraining order on her. Do I even need a lawyer to do something like that?

[Slawsen]

try looking for exclusive occupancy of the marital home

or exclusive residency

[Superjay]

try looking for exclusive occupancy of the marital home

or exclusive residency

this.

when this is filed the judge will make arrangements for her to collect her things...because she'll throw a fit about it. You will want to have police there so they can enforce that she only takes what she has listed with the judge...and anything else she tries to take you have recourse right there

[pervitizm]

Today I have an appointment with another potential attorney. I need to know what questions to ask to figure out a plan of action. Trying to not let my emotional state drive this and try to separate my emotional attachment from this situation and think of it more as now a business partnership that needs to be dissolved.

[JaM Customs aka mprete]

i kind of know how you feel, if you dont mind me ranting a little while trying to help you out...ive been with my girlfriend for a little over 4 years now and over the last few weeks she has been very distant and i havent seen her, and last week she telles me (all in texting) that she feels like she is wasting her time because i cant think of out future. (im 20 and she is 19) IM NOT THINKING OF MARRIAGE!!! im in collage, about to turn 21 on friday, and starting to try to figure out a carrer job. i have test im taking go get certified and im in my last 4 classes before i have my degree and im running a little business out of my parents garage. i have a lot going on. this is not the time to be thinking of marriage. and she feels like she is wasting her time because i cant think about that stuff. thats bull shit. i mean we've been together for 4 years and shes just figuring this out now? if marriage is what she wants then i could have told her 4 years ago im not the guy for her and now ive wasted 4 years of my life on her. ive given her everything i possibly can, i was with her through her parents getting a divorse and how her douchbag father moved to florida and shes just a mess. im trying to be here fir her but she gets mad all the time and shit. i dont know what to do. i cant just break up with her cuz shes an emotional wreck and she wants to "figure out her medical stuff first" (shes been "sick" ever since her parents divorced 2 years ago) which i have been here for her and by her side but what the fuck, how do you tell me you have to think about whether you want to be with me or not and then put me off like that. does that show she doesnt really want to be with me and she just doesnt want to say it? im not an angry person and would never hurt her so i dont understand.... sorry for the thread jack, just had to say something even if no one reads it.////

i know i dont have much advice for you because im going though shit and dont know what to do but all i have to say is keep your head up. there is always a positive side of bad things and you just have to find that. i always try to and usually do. in your situation, at least she told you now and not 5 years from now when you have 3 kids..... this shit is always hard but its also very important to get your emotions out. like your therapist said to wright letter, or if your ever just feeling down or sad get on and give us an update or just how your feeling. there is no shame in feelings.. things will look up after all this is over and i wish you the best. just be smart and dont do anything stupid that will allow her to get half your shit. my advice would be if you can just split, she take her stuff, and you take yours, i would do that and drop the whole thing. it will be much less stress you on you. good luck man.

[LT.Smoke]

i kind of know how you feel, if you dont mind me ranting a little while trying to help you out...ive been with my girlfriend for a little over 4 years now and over the last few weeks she has been very distant and i havent seen her, and last week she telles me (all in texting) that she feels like she is wasting her time because i cant think of out future. (im 20 and she is 19) IM NOT THINKING OF MARRIAGE!!! im in collage, about to turn 21 on friday, and starting to try to figure out a carrer job. i have test im taking go get certified and im in my last 4 classes before i have my degree and im running a little business out of my parents garage. i have a lot going on. this is not the time to be thinking of marriage. and she feels like she is wasting her time because i cant think about that stuff. thats bull shit. i mean we've been together for 4 years and shes just figuring this out now? if marriage is what she wants then i could have told her 4 years ago im not the guy for her and now ive wasted 4 years of my life on her. ive given her everything i possibly can, i was with her through her parents getting a divorse and how her douchbag father moved to florida and shes just a mess. im trying to be here fir her but she gets mad all the time and shit. i dont know what to do. i cant just break up with her cuz shes an emotional wreck and she wants to "figure out her medical stuff first" (shes been "sick" ever since her parents divorced 2 years ago) which i have been here for her and by her side but what the fuck, how do you tell me you have to think about whether you want to be with me or not and then put me off like that. does that show she doesnt really want to be with me and she just doesnt want to say it? im not an angry person and would never hurt her so i dont understand.... sorry for the thread jack, just had to say something even if no one reads it.////

i know i dont have much advice for you because im going though shit and dont know what to do but all i have to say is keep your head up. there is always a positive side of bad things and you just have to find that. i always try to and usually do. in your situation, at least she told you now and not 5 years from now when you have 3 kids..... this shit is always hard but its also very important to get your emotions out. like your therapist said to wright letter, or if your ever just feeling down or sad get on and give us an update or just how your feeling. there is no shame in feelings.. things will look up after all this is over and i wish you the best. just be smart and dont do anything stupid that will allow her to get half your shit. my advice would be if you can just split, she take her stuff, and you take yours, i would do that and drop the whole thing. it will be much less stress you on you. good luck man.

Im not really sure how your rant has anything to do with the OP's problem but i guess you missed the part in his original post that said he has been with his WIFE FOR 10 Years and regardless of how much we are all giving input its hard to get over someone after being with them that long regardless of the cause of the split in the 1st place.