My SMD brothers & sisters I'm going through some sh*t

[pervitizm]

I'm going through the worst moment in my entire life and it all kinda started on 1/18/11 at around 11:45am central standard time. You see on that date and time I got a phone call from my wife of almost 10 years. She told me on the phone that she was filing for divorce from me because she was gay and wanted to being living her life as a homosexual. I was at work when she told me this cause she was fearful of my reaction to this news if we would have been at home, which was rightfully so cause I'm so fucking full of rage and anger right now & at that point, that I know I would have put my hands on her at that moment. I'm shocked and sadden although I shouldn't be. Deep down my guts had been telling me that she's been gay for at least the last 2 years every since we brought this home. The past few months have been pure hell for me. She was going out and not coming home till wee hours in the morning. We weren't having sex anymore, she was always on Facebook chatting away with other women. Most of her friends were gay. She was always spending time with her friends, never really home. I started questioning her commitment to this marriage and that when all hell broke loose. She left on Christmas day and didn't come back home till the next morning claiming that she was with her best friend(who is gay) at a gay club. I was blinded by my love for her that I fooled myself into not seeing the truth. Now its here and I have to deal with it. Thing is I just don't know how. I'm a man and I can tell ya'll that I've been crying so much that you would believe that I was a toddler from all the tears that I've been shedding.

I feel as if my life as I had saw it has been destroyed and I can never bring it back. I feel alone, and fearful of what's next to come. The way I feel right now I hate all gay people, and I really shouldn't. Cause they really have nothing to do with me and her. She was chicken shit for leading me on being in my life when she knew GOD damn well that she didn't want to me with me. Man this woman had me thinking this entire time that I was the issue when she was lying to me from jump. Had me going to different therapist and even convinced me that I was suffering from sexual addiction. I even put myself though a Sexual Addiction Anonymous group to try and figure out what was wrong with me to save my marriage. All that just to find out that I was never the reason at all. That no matter what I did or try it was never going to work, cause I wasn't what she really wanted. I wasn't what she really desired. Man I have no ideal what to do nor how to put the pieces together. I'm in the process of trying to find a good lawyer to advice me legally on what to do. But like I told her if she wants the divorce I'll give it to her, but I'm not going to let her fuck me legally. And by that I mean I have this house that we got with the home tax credit, part of that is that you have to maintain the home as your primary residency for three years or else you have to pay back the credit ($8K). Right now I feel like I'm in a loose, loose, loose, situation and I've got to turn one or two of those looses into a win somehow.

How do I deal with this shit?

[Namosh]

That's really rough, man. I don't know what to tell you other than, don't do anything rash. You need to be very calculating about everything now or it will just make things worse.

[Loudintha509]

Damn man sorry to hear about this shit. Her trying to make it out to be your fault instead of manning up and saying hey I dont think we sholud be together anymore. Dont do anything crazy and try to hurt your self. Get a lawyer she has probably cheated which if your married is against the law. Maybe hire a p.i. to help your case

[n8ball2013]

Perv If you need to talk let me know and ill pm you my cell phone. best thing to do is to immerse yourself in anything youve got that will take you out of your head and to a good place. For me this is sanding on a panel. As odd as that seems its mindless but yet requires concentration. I can't imagine what you are going through. Oh and find a female lawyer. Hell hath no fury like a female divorce lawyer. See if your wife wants to be civil about the split and then rake her ass over the fire . If you need a friend let me know.

[77-AUDIO]

How to deal with it is hard to say. Each case has its different solutions. I feel you on the RAGE cause I was and sometimes I still want to do bad things, but I have my kids to live for. My now EX wife filed for divorce and left me for a wanna be drug dealer and started using drugs( I only have hear say in that) but her actions make me believe it. All I can say is that time will ease the pain and best thing to do is get out there and start talking to friends and family and get back out in the world and have fun. Easier said than done I know, but it helps. One thing you might have to do is stay away from some of your friends cause all they will want to do is talk about the other person and all it does is make you madder than before.

I went thru a divorce in 2010 after 12.5 years of marriage and it fucking hurt. I still think about her and you will think about your, but best to try and forget it all. I have moved on and now I have the sweetest girl thats out there and the best thing is shes 10 years younger than me! And I am actually able to pay my bills now and still afford to take my kids and my girl out and not wonder where the money for this or that bill is coming from.

Best advise "Get back out on the playground and enjoy life".

[LT.Smoke]

Damn dude im not even sure what to say to you bro... Im really sorry that shit ended that way just hold your head up and keep on movin forward bro things will work out eventually.. you have a fam here at SMD that will be there for ya

Im with N8 bro PM me as well if you need to talk and i will give ya my cell as well man...Plus I know about people that i could hook you up with to talk to and help cope with your problems

[keepinitloud]

had two friends in highschool they were brothers they're mom left them and they're dad to be with her girlfriend awkward part was she was our school buss driver but it seemed to end somewhat amicably. She should never have entered into a relationship with you. from the very first time she started having feelings as a child that were sexual in nature I'm 100% sure they were homosexual in nature but like a lot of gay people they try to stuff it and be normal and someone always gets hurt when they are not true to they're nature seen so many stories of it guy's that have kids and a house loving wife they leave it all cause they know they are gay and have been denying it for so long that they can't do it anymore but the wife gets hurt and the kids as well but as a society be condemn homosexual behavior so this happens alot as they strive to be normal when they know they can't. Your wife went about this in a shitty way and her actions of staying out all night and stuff like this is inexcusable she should have sat down with you and had an honest talk to you about what was goin on with her would have been better than the lying and deceitfulness just get a lawyer and try and protect your self hopefully things will smooth out and you can get over this and move on with your life

[Loudcivic]

that sucks. i believe in your state since she cheated on you she is subject to infidelity and does not get nothing in the divorce. i may be wrong so look into it.

[Carroot1]

how does she know shes really gay? that sucks man..

[ChampN252]

tough shit bro. please just don't hit her. I know people that have done that and that shit will ruin your life. A quick trip to jail and a really hard time finding jobs from them on. Avoiding her is wise.