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As soon as i find someone with a new iphone, i am going to try that scotch tape trick with the fingerprint and see if it works.

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On 10/3/2013 at 10:00 AM, ROLEXrifleman said:

Anyone who says they knew everything they wanted out of life at 19 can go suck a bag of dicks cause they are lying to themselves or brought up in a cult.

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On 5/8/2011 at 7:38 PM, Kranny said:
On 5/8/2011 at 7:35 PM, 'Maxim' said:

It hurts me inside when I read stuff like this and remember you're 15

LMFAO so true

:blush:

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LET ME TELL YOU WHY THAT'S BULLSHIT:

I'll just leave this here.....

7TH PLACE:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her

peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running

inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by

the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

6TH PLACE:

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical

expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman

apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he

was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5TH PLACE:

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had

just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the

automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage

door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door

connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.

Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a

large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company

claiming undue mental Anguish.

Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000

for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.

4TH PLACE:

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the

Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being

bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the

beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as

much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been

provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the

fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

3RD PLACE:

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a

Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled

soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the

floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during

an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own

actions?

2ND PLACE:

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a

nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,

knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was

trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the
$3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her
$12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.
Go figure.

1ST PLACE: (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)

This year's runaway First Place winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma,

who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to

the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the

driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a

sandwich.

Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.

Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the

owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the

cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting

down,...$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.

Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit,

just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who

might also buy a motor home

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i shook this one kids hand and it just folded in mine. long story short i fucked his girlfriendso.. yeah..

You want this to happen to you? Give decent handshakes people.

I was gifted with an innate ability to distribute wholesale ass beatings in a timely and orderly fashion.
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