Ex Girlfriend(I challenge you to top this one)

[greg662]

naw just makes her a ho. lmfao

EDIT:

WAIT A MINUTE i remember you now...

http://www.stevemeadedesigns.com/board/ind...c=55307&hl=

but you never said anything about that in THAT post...

?????

[Eric B]

sorry had to..

[Moore941]

naw just makes her a ho. lmfao

EDIT:

WAIT A MINUTE i remember you now...

http://www.stevemeadedesigns.com/board/ind...c=55307&hl=

but you never said anything about that in THAT post...

?????

nope i didnt lol but i did mention i had a good time got tatered, went for a walk and she joined lol havent talked to her since. been fucking around with this other chick ever since.

[Torres]

not very drama filled but i had an ex try to kill herself after 3 months. that last month was filled with crazy psycho clingy drama tho

[micahmye]

Haha, when I was 17 (I'm 18), I had a 19 year old Brazilian chick that was pretty hot and we had been going out for 3 months or so and she had canceled dates several times because she was tired or sick, mostly BS excuses but one night she says shes not feeling good and doesn't wanna get together tonight and I'm suspicious but I wasn't gonna waste my time and be a bitch and go and see if she was actually home, later that night around 8 one of my boys texts me and says my chick is at the club, and I'm like WTF? So lol, I text her sister (who's 17, and just as hot as her older sis) and I ask her if my chick is sleeping or awake (I knew she wasn't home already) and she's like no, she said she was going with you and she left around 6, and "I'm like oh okay, Well she's not with me. I don't know where she is." (although I do) "Do you mind if I come over and wait for her to come home since she's not answering her phone and I wanna see her tonight?" She says that's cool and so I go over there and we put in a horror movie. (I knew that her sister liked me as soon as I met her, and my chick kept telling me her sis had a thing for me) While she ends up cuddling up to me and eventually we start making out and she takes off some clothes and around then my chick comes home, and her sister is in her panties and bra and shes laying on my chest, She's like "WHAT THE FUCK!!!" and yell's a bunch of shit and goes back out the door, the rest of the night was history, the next morning I wake up in their house and I walk out into the living room and my chicks sister is making me breakfast and then my chick comes out of her room, and is like "Where did you sleep last night?" I'm like "Where else do you think I slept?" She was so pissed. Later that day when I was at work she text's me and says shes sorry that she lied and all this BS, and that she wants me back so I'm like okay we'll go out tonight, and so we hook up and all xP haha, then I tell her I'm going "home" around ten, but where I actually went was to her sisters room and made it a night with her again. I continued that for about a week until they talked to each other and figured out that I was sneaking around behind their backs (neither of them had caught me with the other in that week, and they also weren't talking because of me). So the older one finally stops wanting to chill and so I start just kept it up with her sister, lol, I've been dating her sister officially for about a year now Me and the older one are good friends now, she want's me back but her sister is better at everything... hahahahaha, that's my story...

[steven]

i had a gf that i was with for about a month, had sex(my first time, yay me), next month. she says she is prego, i say well damn. for the next 5 months funny stuff happens. 1 month in to the pregnancy she tells me she is having a girl, her eatin certain foods makes the baby kick her all the time (after 1 month haha), few days later...she had a miscarriage. Im happy with that, a month later she says she lied. she is still pregnant, but her dad made her tell me that for some reason. another month goes by. guess wat, im goin into labor. really( 3 months in.. ok)

next few days. so where is this baby. she tells me it died a little after birth. go figure. another month. guess wat.. she tells me she had to lie again. the baby is alive and she put it up for adoption and she doenst wanna say anythin else. she gives me pics of her as a baby and tries to pass them off as the new baby, how do i know it was here. well they wore old pics, and her name and age was written on the back of the pics, marked out and then the new baby's name and age was wrote on the back.

to make it shorter we break up,

the she gets with one of my friends. a few months later she is prego again. i wasnt with her this time so didnt care much for it. but it ended up with another no-show baby.

they break up she dates some track kid, they break up after about 6 months

then she gets with another one if my friends. a little while later i see him at walmart, as a joke i ask. She pregnant yet?

he says she just told him she was. he makes her take a pee test in the walmart bathroom, she goes, pees, and brings out the stick. my buddy is like. wats this mean. she says she doesnt know cuz she threw the instructions in the trash. he finds out later the test is negative. she makes up some dumb excuse that i dont remember. he stays with her for a long time though, lots of sex from wat i heard.

i couldnt ever find a way to get her back for messing with all of us like she did. but this kid did a little. he went off to the army. told here to wait till he gets back from his time up there and theyll go off to college together in a town a few hours away from here. He gets back, fucks her, few days later breaks up with here. she sees me a few days later and tells me about it. I just kept laughin on the inside.

theres my 2 crazyiest ex the first craziest would take lots more typin and im lazy

Hey is there any chance this girls name is Amber I had a girl do the EXACT same thing and then later pulled it with 2 of my friends. She was some compulsive liar always making up crazy stories...

[z_ro]

Hey is there any chance this girls name is Amber I had a girl do the EXACT same thing and then later pulled it with 2 of my friends. She was some compulsive liar always making up crazy stories...

her name could also be Angel or Amanda for me

just sadly alot of crazy bitches front.

[Rogers]

it seems like alot of chicks are just looking for attention... but once in awhile you will come across a crazy bitch that needs taken out back and destroyed...

[ShawsvilleStang]

Llama .45 Minimax With 230 grain Premium Hydra-Shok

Smartass....

[BanginOnABudget]

From Saleen99 on viperalley.com

o I went to Buffalo Wild Wings the other night to meet up with some friends and watch the Dallas Mavericks and Spurs play. Found out my Ex Girlfriend, "a girl that I was only with for about 4 months and didn't even care about her while dating her because I am still hooked on my "Ex Fiance" or Lisa as some of you know" got a job there and was working that night. Didn't have a problem as I know she still wants to get back together with me so I just ignored her because I'm not interested.

Later during the night her Boyfriend shows up, a 5'7 145lbs. wannabe thug with the Carrot Top hair cut, and starts the stare down. I didn't know he was there and didn't care either just noticed a little kid that looked like he was 16 trying to act tough with me. My old girlfriend went up to one of my friends and said she didn't feel comfortable with me there when her Man was there because he wanted to fight me and she didn't want anything to happen and asked if I could leave.

I just laughed, turned and smiled at the kid, who is 21 I think and kept talking with my friends.

Woke up yesterday morning with my friends Angie and Alex knocking at my door take them up to the mall so I can help them pick out their swimsuits...great I know.... got in the car, put the top down and the girls blasted the music and noticed my car pulling to the right! I mean a MAJOR pull, pulled over and noticed I had a flat tire. Limped back to the house and looked at my tire and realized it had been slashed on the Saleen. Angie called my Ex and the fight was on!! Needless to say, her boyfriend admitted to slashing my tire and he would do it again until I stay away from his girl....

The threats continued and offered him to meet me somewhere so we can settle this the way it should, and the guy never showed up. I told him that I would meet him at his Girls apartment that night since I knew they lived together, he never showed up there, my Ex showed up and said he's not coming home, asked why..... she said because he is a Pussy. Wow I would never want my girlfriend of wife calling me a pussy so I considered the source and left it alone.

Wow, can you believe the drama?? Feels like I'm back in highschool. Anyone else have any crazy Ex Girlfriend Stories?? Needless to say, made me realize that I am still in love with Lisa and need to stay away from crazy girls until she comes back... if she does.

from Gerald of viperalley.com

X Girl Friend Story? I've got one for ya.... You would think I would be making this up , but it's entirely true...

So here I was.. About 23 years old, thought I was the coolest thing. had a '73 convertible stingray and drove that thing everywhere..

Went to the beach one day (local beach here, but still some nice tail) and I met this chick from England down here on vacation. Just loved that accent. She was only here for about another 5 or so days so I asked her out to dinner and movies...

Dinner went well, conversation was really nice as again, that accent just drove me nuts. I could have rubbed one off right there between the Ceaser salad and turkey burger but held back as I felt I might get lucky....

As dinner ended rather than see a movie I suggested we head up to a nice long pier that juts out into the water, has a great view, and is quiet. (Just wanted to grab some ass is what I shoulda said). Well we drive up and park the car and see there's a few ppl on the pier at locations where we would have no privacy. So I get this harebrain idea where I'd just sit down on the nice grass in front of my car and talk, let my hands and fingers do the walking, etc.

So let me back up for a moment a bit and let you know what I'm wearing. I've got on boxers and some jean shorts on and a collared shirt.

So as I'm sitting there and staring at these queen sized English bred melons and doing what any 23 year old would do..... I get this monster fucking erection to put it slightly...... After about 10 minutes I can feel Mr. Blue Balls knocking at the door and to top it off I start to get this very fucking small itch on my NUTSACK that just keeps getting more and more intense. It started as an itch on my nads. And any guy reading can understand that an itch on the nutsack can be quite annoying. So I do what can be considered "the move part duece". Rather than just itch and make it painfully obvious I proceed to carefully grab a part of my jean shorts and pull them down. But you may say "hey, that's it?" No.... As a man grabs his shorts, he ever gently and precisely positions his hands lightning fast to just barely "catch" the skin of his nads and do a quick roll with his fingers and catches and stops that itch in it's tracks! Ok I'm thinking.. that itch is taken care of.. back to business...

As I'm sitting there with her the itch starts to come back and this time not only on my nads, it's also directly on my piece of hardware. Great I'm thinking. "what the fuck". This time I actually have to itch the motherfucker quite violently.

Honest to God, then all of a SUDDEN, ARMA-FUCKING-GEDDON breaks out in my fucking pants. I'm like "what the FUCK" "she's like "what the fuck is wrong with you". I jump up and start jumping in fucking circles scratching, rubbing, my balls, dick, you name it. My damn DICK and BALLS are on fire!!! I have no fucking idea what was going on. Now here is where it gets pretty funny.

I ask her to go to the corvette and turn the lights on so I can see why my dick and nuts are fucking punishing me!!! I was about to get some ass and it's turned on me!! what the fuck I'm thinking. I barely know this chick and she thinks I'm a fucking looney.. (at this point anyone that has a corvette stingray knows that the lights work on a vacuum and unless you have good vacuum, the lights aren't going to pop up unless you just rebuild those cannisters and seals, etc.) So I ask her, no.. I yell at her to turn the lights on as I"m jumping like a ax murderer in front of the car. The lights fucking turn on but they don't pop up.... Now... In preparation for the lights to come on I've already got my jean shorts and boxers down , wrapped around my ankles trying to see what the FUCK is going on. The lights aren't on.. FUCK. So I hobble over, around the door, had to make my away around her.. Ohhh that look on her face.. fuck I"m thinking.. I'm an idiot. I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!..... anyways, I fucking start the car up, get vacuum and my dick and nads are on FIRE.. I turn car off and run to the front of the car and look at my crotch to see what in the name of GOD is going on down there. (realized I've done all this with my jeans and boxers around my damn ankles)

As I look down I see about 1,000 little FUCKING FIRE ANTS running around my pubes, dick, and nuts like a bunch of China men building a railroad. If anyone knows anything about fire ants, when they bite, their little fucking legs lift off the ground and they hold on by their TEETH. These little fucktards where holding on by their teeth EVERYWHERE. I was about ready to cry. This poor little Hot English girl actually came over and asked if there was anything she could do for me. I couldn't ask her She did it all by herself.. So she proceeded to get on her knees...... I have my shorts and boxers around my ankles and she's picking fire ants out of my pubes and nads for CHRIST's SAKE. I've known the girl for a whopping 4 hours.

The pain hasn't gone away but it's reached a level where it's not getting any worse and we've gotten about all of them off. So I limp back in the car and start driving totally fucking naked, hot English woman next to me with Double D's, make up, hair done up and looking fucking HOT. Just fucking picture it. The inevitable happens. There are MORE OF THEM some-fucking where. I get about 5 miles and I have to pull over again. My clothes are on her lap. This time I make it to a spring fed river and jump out of the car. Traffic both ways! I remember lots of beeping... I finally run about 100 yards across traffic, her in the car, my clothes on her lap and me jumping in the cool water pulling ants off my dick and nads. I stayed in about 15 minutes and drown the little fuckers!!!!!

I still had a stray one or two what felt like days I swear. I must have had about 200 bites all over down there. It was pretty painful to be honest! I wouldn't wish that one on anyone. I must have sat not directly on a fire ant nest but just long enough for them march up my fucking leg and play boy scouts and pitch a fucking tent, wait 10 minutes then start biting me when I started to get busy..

She felt pretty bad and was quite understanding. I felt like a total loser and ass. She rewarded me tho on the way home and the next few days but damn, IT SURE WASN'T WORTH IT.

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