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Posted

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy Jones

Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus

Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,

Tim Jones

Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus

Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat arse and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone

Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shat wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your arse and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy

Timmy,

That's what I thought you little bastiage.

Santa

** Buddy of mine shared this on another forum I laughed my ass off

Team MaxRetribution

Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
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Posted

Santa got Gangsta... The madder he got the grimier he got lol

Team MaxRetribution

Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
Id rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6

Bowhunting- Life Begins and Ends at Full Draw

Bowhunting Team Fatal Trajectory Hunt Team

 

http://www.stevemeadedesigns.com/board/topic/49335-sick96vtecaccords-t-line-build/?hl=sick96vtecaccord << Accord Build

http://www.stevemeadedesigns.com/board/topic/68498-smokedout08impalas-tline-build/?hl=+sick96vtecaccord << Impala T-line build

 

Rebassed.com for all your music needs 👌

Posted

Damn I thought more people would enjoy this

Team MaxRetribution

Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
Id rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6

Bowhunting- Life Begins and Ends at Full Draw

Bowhunting Team Fatal Trajectory Hunt Team

 

http://www.stevemeadedesigns.com/board/topic/49335-sick96vtecaccords-t-line-build/?hl=sick96vtecaccord << Accord Build

http://www.stevemeadedesigns.com/board/topic/68498-smokedout08impalas-tline-build/?hl=+sick96vtecaccord << Impala T-line build

 

Rebassed.com for all your music needs 👌

Posted

lmfao thanks for the awesome laughs LT. This is one of the reasons why I should not be allowed to play santa. hahahaa.

2004 GMC Envoy1 XS power S3400 batt under the hood and 4 XS Power D3100's battery installed in the rear by the amps0 gauge power wire from front to backAlpine iva-w205 touchscreen dvd/cd/mp3/ipod/am/fm/gps headunitSundown Audio SAX-200.4 amp for my mids and highs8 gauge speaker wire from amp to woofer270 amp Mechman AltRockford Fosgate T1652-s component speakersRockford Fosgate 3Sixty.2 sound processorRca's from Rockford Fosgate and Monster Cable14 gauge speaker wire for the mids and highs1 18" Ascendant Audio SMD Dual 1 ohm with custom Black & Blue carbon fiber and hand signed dustcapBox: 5.66 cubic feet net volume box tuned to 30.13Hz with 1.5" wide wooden dowels and 1.5" thick baffle1 DC Audio 5.0k amp wired to .5 ohms nominal with an imp rise of 1.35 ohms for the single AA SMD 18"Future Vision 8000k 50w bi-xenon projector HID's with 4300k 35w fog lightsLink to my build: Buildupdates/progress

Posted

fucking great lol

"The strongest reason for people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." -- (Thomas Jefferson)

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